9/2011. 26.9. I visited the red core. Entering the red core and I was feeling the moisture, wet, though it's only 55% (that with one hour window open might drop to 48% perhaps, as was often the case in my red core flat) in my flat, but in the red core I was feeling it uncomfortable and wet, as soon as I entered (and I was out - it would be the same inside, and there too things would be wet, or as one would feel them, though in the red core flat I some of the time had to dry clothing to get sleep, the problem was that bad before the moisture dropped nearer the winter). That is what I have generally too felt before but it's sure now that it's the same moisture as it was inside. I then walked to south end ocean and it was the same there though like one month earlier it was still clearer there, but not anymore, until I kept walking 'near' the ocean and it started to get cleared (the feeling of moisture, wet has up to nothing to do with the ocean of how near one is at it and actually it could be clearer there as it's a bit further away from the core though I suffered the moisture in a major way in autumn last year in the red core near the ocean so can't say it's any better there) when getting closer to Töölö, that from the further parts was still like clear pink as one sees it though not anymore as one feels it, though not that it ever was expanding clear pink during the summer aura either, but just mere pink, similar to north Helsinki, north-east Helsinki where one can see the clear pink (mere pink or thinner mere pink I think, similar to where I am currently living at) but can't feel it as it's too thick for that. I wasn't feeling the problem of the moisture at red core in further parts of Töölö, and it's because the red core wasn't there yet, that was also the reason why one month earlier or early this month I wasn't feeling the red core in (further) Töölö and before it, or at the edges of the red core, while even at this time there is still not all that much redness anywhere in the red core that I could not have seen the pink around, though it's top bad as felt just about the whole red core already at the end of this month, except the further Töölö. I think I had moisture problems already at my red core Töölö flat last year at this time so I am not sure about the exact evaluation of this moisture being already a bother at this level of moisture at this time, and I don't remember the time exactly from the last year and this trip was only 30 minutes in Töölö, but I made a note it wasn't a bother and saw the "clear pink" around - it's clear and shiny. The expansion to pink might be called clear pink, that is when the expansion starts (e.g. one kilometer from Pitäjänmäki in Helsinki to the direction of Leppävaara in Espoo and at this time the expansion starts, there being the line between mere pink and the clear pink. Those lines might still move further as at some point Töölö will be a red core, the move being one or two kilometers still, though I don't expect Sello in Leppävaara to become mere pink, though the possibility is there - then it's half the year so - but at this time it's still two kilometers away to happen). I think anyone might get some view into the pink levels, e.g. I have somewhat played tennis in Pitäjänmäki when I was around 15, and it seems I remember the pink to clear pink (depends of if it was summer/near summer or not) level in the air there though I didn't make a serious note of it then (and during my red core living inside the next six years - 16-21 - I worked some time at three different places of Pitäjänmäki and I don't remember anything though might have made some note if I would have known what to take a note of. Maybe when having physically worked more like in sports, one has more lights out there - in one's aura/the x-mind - as one is having more lights in one's system then, and sees some shine outside). I think one feels better the delight of e.g. playing when not doing it in a red core, there being a difference in feel (nature, connection felt better, more comfortable, more direct, more clear connection). Clearer, lighter, more nature, more connection, more shiny, more delight. At red core one feels more in the heart the people connection, like when with people (one knows or semi-knows or something), and one is maybe heavier or whatever in a spot way, the opposite of lighter less spotted when away from the red core, and stuffs like that one can see happening. On my visit at the red core, the nature connection was poor, the south end ocean didn't have bliss, just the further Töölö's ocean had because there was pink one could see, and pink is bliss as seen even when not feeling it, though there is some feel to what one sees but that's not the bliss etc. one can get as felt when most one is aware of the pink or clear pink is what one sees, but it not being thin (clear) enough that one would feel the bliss also, one just seeing it. At this trip I got tired at the red core, that's not generally what happens to me, but maybe I was tired and it just added to it, like with the moisture case that I can handle only when it's below 50% in the red core, or in Töölö, though even closer the red core it could be still worse and that's a sure reason I wouldn't take flat from the very core, though one does not need to be much at all further and it's not all that bad. But under summer aura and at pink (maybe not so at thick mere pink that's worse) the 60% wasn't what I call a problem, while 70% was felt by everyone in the red core as highly moist, but still, if it would not have been at the red core, it would have been less maybe to all. But getting the moisture down is good as much down as it keeps making things lighter and one feeling more comfortable; at red core I needed 40% to feel comfortable and light about it, while at lighter mere pink and under the red core summer aura in Töölö, I don't know what would be the good one, just that I am not having problems at 60% there, though if I would x-unload all the left and be hot on the right, it might be more of a bother even t/here, but at the white area I needed 29C and being hot like that (I don't know what the moisture was but I guess about 50% based on what it was later at the red core flat where I was less than one month later) before the effect of my hotness was meeting the weather bother, because of heat mainly, and I couldn't do five minutes of cleaning the flat I was perspiring more than little and only under a cooler and not moving I was comfortable, but that bit of info doesn't give much any info here, while I have already mentioned somewhere that one might not feel the hotness as well or as much a bother (same things) under a lesser redness level, and that is actually not good if it results in getting burned, just that if that doesn't happen, one would suffer less under a not red core Aura (that can be pink or less red during the summer Aura). Though I also think that since Enlightenment (Brahma Awarenss mainly but some outer personality change has some part in it too, like Se vs. Si, that though are also there as the Brahma Awareness gives more Se to a Si, as does W&C though it also might give more Si to an Se as it's a round. Also recovery gives more Se as one is less in the mind, in N) I haven't had as good feel connection to my body and when I perspire because of much action (spots etc.) I have taken a note that I was less aware of it than before Enlightenment (and maybe I also perspire more/more easily as I am older e.g. when I was like 14 I didn't perspire as easily as I do these days, not even in sauna. But still, there is some "disconnection" too compared to what I had before as more Si, with more N and so closer, though the red core was putting me again closer the Ni or just closer as one is there closer, and then being closed from senses as less expanded, more red, pink, less hearing, less sensing, less seeing, all putting me closer the Ni or whatever from where I came from to this life, though because of the Buddha, my surface is always clear of my personality, that makes is harder to see what it is - INTP plus the surface S - and the surface x-mind can take any form though it too might be getting more and more as Ni these days as I am being put closed and inside because of all the red, pink and noised around, and having needed to think Italian vs. the UK like forever - close two years now, figuring out needs the T, and it gets connected with N at needed intuitive thinking specially, even with T alone as it's with my old N, and I wasn't given the possibility to live without the T as I got all the problems and needed to think my way out and protect myself too, the F being something for the time when one is somewhere, but I am nto there yet, but whatever, if this is a trick of the nature, it doesn't know I value free will, my decision and that I know I can always change it back when I am somewhere, but I take it just as the demand of the situation, and when I get somewhere, I won't need it anymore, not even if I get the same problems there as I know how to deal with them then. The suppressed N makes one a Buddha, the surface - x-mind - then being free of the dominant N - in/on the x-mind - just like the suppressed active sex gets rid of the redness cover in one's body, mind, eyes, in the x-mind - that from its part changes all those, the X just having its own effect in them but not on the exact surface as dominantly but just below it. Similarly, one can suppressed or replace - indirectly suppressing - one's dominant functions like I have done and been an x-ESFP like on year, and even later there is some part in my Xmind that's still ESFP, and similarly we have other personas in our Xmind, depending of/on what we have exactly been doing, with what personality functions - using functions is an x-mind thing, the Xmind being our dominant persona, and suppressing the dominant persona for weeks and months makes it one's X-mind, a step between it being the x-mind or the Xmind, and by not suppressing one's persona, outer persona, one can do much anything and will remain that outer persona, it needing more input, more aggression from one to be in some other outer persona, and not cutting oneself away from the old, replacing it with a new might not be possible, but one can always try in different ways to get x-clearer with any outer persona/functions one is having on the x-mind level, there being a point where one is dominantly some other outer persona on the x-mind level, not just using its dominant functions), when I was feeling it as it was happening but after I have made a note that it has happened, and wondering why I am not feeling it, and I wasn't even feeling the body being that "tired" to correlate with it. And that does correlate with the Brahma Awareness (the likely cause too) side effects that can be feeling things around unreal and one's body connection to it and to S-Se connecting the action having marginal problems as one is not feeling the reality as one used to, one is not getting the usual feedback, or Si-feedback that then tells where one is at one some process of S-Se/Sensoric reality doings outside. Though our system adjusts to those clear pinks and other even red core Brahma Awareness had those problems. But it's partly adjusting to the new Awareness feel around and partly to the different feed back one is getting through one's body, it being partly like learning to walk again because if one got 100g feedback, one knew what to do, but with the new system inside and outside one gets only e.g. 50g feedback and makes a mistake based on wrong feel, though one still sees but it's not connected to the old reliable feel, but one needs to learn a new feel or/and get adjusted to the new Brahma Awareness at many different areas from close white to red core and many pinks. Could be one reason why the home team has an advantage in sports, but is something one should be aware when one is at different redness levels, that the feel might be a bit different, and for me the lights level will be more or less shiny and the Awareness will be more or less expanded, and one can sense things faster and better at clearer areas, while in some red core one is less aware and there can also be more noise so one not only sees and senses less, one also hears less. There are also (other) psychological effects that different redness levels will produce and they have an effect to all areas of life. The difficulty to see more or less of the redness levels when one doesn't have the Brahma Awareness is that one has more or less the redness cover in one's body, mind, eyes, and the less one has it, the more possibility there is that one makes a difference between them, e.g. the red core and something less if one is not having as much as in the red core. But no knowledge if one's view can be more to it with a lesser redness level in one's body, that comes from the sex load mainly but other loads will add to it and being clearer on the x-mind as x-unload, one might see and feel some more. And it's not only the redness level there is as there is the amount of energy and people (heart) in the air, Aura, also, and it's not clear to me if there is any significant redness level in clear pink and less, but just energy, people. The lowest redness level one might have in one's system when not having the Brahma Awareness, might be thin mere pink.

My neighbours have got some more tricky as the time has passed as first they started to be up during like random times of the night, and it's being basically impossible in the way they have done it. Then the one down started to smoke during night lights off, so I won't get any warnings and I won't know of what time he is up and not, not even logically as he is doing the impossible, but adding the smoking in the dark was new too, and I needed to smell it three times before I believed it and closed the window. This makes it impossible to/for me to keep the window open with any confidence at any time though during the nights he is sleeping like half the time and I might see at what time he goes to sleep, so there is some possibility of having the window open without getting smoking inside, and it won't get out easy as how would it. His flat might in theory be more smoking free than mine as his smoking gets in my flat. He has a smoking place outside less than 10 meters away just outside the outer door (walking there would be as easy as walking to the other side of one's flat), but he prefers smoking inside (he smokes more or less all the time so it would be difficult), the window and the ventilation taking care that he is getting fresh air. To predict these people when they are up, smoke, make noise, hasn't been much of a success as they have that much randomness to it and there is not necessarily any time that there isn't noise, that always just being a possibility, that's not going to be up to any good when not known when that time is. Not that the noise levels from most part are major, but even the lesser one's make me to use ear protection or/and music, tv as there is that subtle more or less constant noise - that can't from some parts even be heard just that it can be felt - while the peak noises get through the protection like someone would be making that noise in my flat. The medium level noises need major ear protection like someone hitting his head against the wall for hours (the all kinds of door banging might last only from minutes toan hour or few, depending of the time and day, and those won't get away with light ear protection), but it's not clear to me how often that happens in the long run, and I have used protection on the safe side, inside the ears the most effective but I have them in too much pain at this time as they can't handle it many weeks but I need to use other systems, that luckily there are, though not as effective until I use triple protection. The health has been so-so, some of the days I don't feel healthy, but the textile has so far taken some of the problem away, but I am not free of health problems here. As a result I have come to know these flatting things better as they relate to health and other things, and maybe the immune system of possibly seeing how it's working with these health problems and what it's to be sick like this and then better and then again worse, and so it continues non-stop, plus the general health stress on the body how I am weaker etc. because of it, and how it 'loads' the immune system, how it cleans and up to how far it's good enough, e.g. without the textile it seems I would be sick all the time more, now just less. Some possibility he will have his window more often closed during the winter, while now it was 13C in the night/early morning, that feel comfortable (like love, heart, though during summer a constant 13C feels anemic) to me compared to the under 10C like 7C with the window open and looking, feeling outside, that being a rotten temperature, but the 13C was feeling comfortable (outside) and that being to the direction one will have in e.g. Italy compared to what one will have in the UK, and that correlates with my general feel of the comfort about Italy (the language being one more part, and then there are possible uncomfort and difficulties things but not necessarily. What one feels about different places is coming from something and figuring them out one can make more conscious decisions though the unconscious as a feeler can understand some things better than the mind using dominantly logic about the case, it not getting in the deep and feel level that much nor understand and value their views as much as it should, the logical mind having its limitations, and the ego, while those other things have additionally to deities the superego as the Xmind personal and collective, or there is not necessarily a difference but just Xmind and deities), that from more or less part is from (the) weather, it making life that much more comfortable, plus more winter light and sunshine, that being still a major step more a continue things compared to the UK winter not cutting the continue thing like the winter in Finland does, but in Italy one is not major cut even from the comfort and some shilly might even be experienced as a semi-delight, or it being a kind of interesting or different rather than a constant pain/uncomfort factor.

W&C is a constant inner awareness of what is happening in one's x-mind, and that's why it's rather necessary though still optional, but even with W&C learning is slow, though a sure thing in the long run of tens of years and lives. Gautama Buddha and psychology has lots of views of W&C dealing with emotions and combined thought, understanding, it being about rational thinking, and though psychology or even Gautama Buddha doesn't have the W&C, they understand the bases being there and can observe them and use rational thinking. Inner ethics comes from there and it's possible to improve on mental and emotional understanding, purity, clarity, perfection, and it's up to a person how much attention and work and time he is willing to dedicate to improve there, e.g. it's not something mandatory, just factors that makes one further better and decreases sufferings on all levels, though not that one will ever be free of/from sufferings as there are always factors that cause pain, both physical and psychological, but will more understanding, more clarity, more purity, more perfection, with a better emotional and logical and other skills, one will be able to manage one's head and actions better, more skilled actions and management as well as the connected increased clarity etc. But it's not something e.g. I need to do, and it's not possible not to progress there anyway, just that it will be slower, but I can live a happy and good enough life getting just basic things okay in life, so it's not mandatory to make it a life aim or hobby, but that's up to everyone what they decide to do, and one sure can improve oneself like that faster if one makes it a focus and even by just making things more clear as understood, it being a part of management. Then there is the Brahma, that's basically about Awareness, and moving one's focus physically, emotionally and mentally and so, one can have different stuffs in the x-mind, and that Brahma possibly goes all the way to outside of the body (though one will have no experience of it without the body) and as so being the other side and the core of Life that never dies, the material world around it dies and is born, but awareness is the smallest particle and never breaks and so can't die nor form in some other ways but build the universe with all what it has. The managements of that A/awareness is in the world of Meditations and connected stuffs and one experiences, sees, learns things like that. And I suppose that's about it; W&C and Brahma stuffs, and they connect too as Meditation but could be as separate as mere thinking and mere Brahma Awareness. It's much enough to have the W&C as it's hard not to see when one has it, though without knowledge it's hard to understand what one sees and one would need no knowledge (rather than false knowledge making one additionally ignorant) and an attitude as a view of looking inner things and thinking about them, and without a separation of good and evil, ethical and non-ethical, it will be hard to understand emotions, dharma, and with false knowledge, still harder as well as if one then thinks one knows, one has stopped looking. But the main thing is that one can improve further, though it doesn't mean one has to go for it (until one lives more or less in an outer - or 'inner' as not being okay - hell, though one should try to more or less change the outer situation), nor does it mean one need to pick some fitting outer persona to understand or even feel things, that one would need to do if one makes it a main focus in one's life, that would lead to faster improvements at least ethically, if that is one's aim through observations and understanding the mind's functions and laws better, so picking what it the best and hoping to improve as talent too, so being more intelligent as so, but at least one gets some old stuffs improved and maybe some improvements in the brain also happen(s), e.g. being naturally more focused as so, that being the talent together with the relevant thinkings and emotions to it, and maybe one develops some stronger tolerances against sufferings in life when one has a better managements and works to have a better tolerance, then some more power on/in the brain on those areas might happen as power or tolerance and so one would get sufferings decreased at least a bit. There is no end to suffering (other than protections, improving, decreasing, healing) and there is no heaven somewhere else, there being only this world right here and this body, mind, emotions, and the only thing we can do something about is to do it in this world and with our body, mind, emotions, there being only this and nothing else, the heaven needing to improve here and there is no escape other than using protections and improving the world, the Flattings, the mind, emotions and the body. People are usually okay, the only problem in their life is the amount of blindness and lack of making the bet of it what they have, that I call a potential paradise, that they could take just like that but generally fail doing so, but still, they have a life, and in case they would not be okay, it would be up to horrible to be a mere human, being not okay and in darkness, and the only things they have is that they are okay and their doings, and if they lose one or both of those, what's left is what's left; hell and darkness. Buddha, Brahma etc., are not something that makes one above human but one remains a human, just with some additional things that makes life better if one has a need of them, and if one doesn't have, e.g. one is okay and can aim for the happy life, then what else one could ask (for)? That being basically all there is, the main thing, living, life, and if one has some additional stuffs in it, like E/enlightenments, lower loads, those will improve it further, but how much one can ask (for)? Enough to have a good life, as good as it at this time of global economics generally can be. Knowing that one is Here or being a W&C etc. is not going to change anything to one who has no (major) need of it, and even if one would have some need of it, being okay and having a good life would be plenty enough and even more than enough, life being such a possibility to enjoy life, living, when one is okay, and knowing how and what there is in life, would make it further better, rather than live in some dark corner and think life sucks (there are many people even in deep depression when they actually are in paradise), that's what humans often and up to generally do, or they could improve their lives further, having up to no idea that they have a paradise right there that they could just take it, and no Enlightenments needed; they are just extra things, the base good life not needing them. One needs to have a knowledge of how to be okay and get okay and understand the mind - our life - of e.g. what makes things good and what makes things bad, and then what good things there are in the world, and when better understanding the mind, being okay and having a good outer life, that's all that really need to be known, and when everyone knows his mind, is okay and has a good outer life, then one might look into some more, but not even out of any need as one is okay but just to add some more. Having that more but not being okay and not having one's outside things okay, is not a paradise but a hell. The only good then is that it will not last forever, while in ignorance humans do not have any chance in the long run to get nothing but not okay, plus their lack of knowledge gives them a worse inner and outer life. The only goods humans have is that they are okay and they can do, those being the factors that give them happiness and life, at least for now, till their turn comes to not be okay and up to not being able to do, and then after a life and lives, they can again have the goods, while some others will have the worse life and lives. All because of the lack of/in knowledge. The real life is on this earth and as normal every day life with its factors; those are the real things in life, and there is no other side, and even if there would be, it would be a limited one, having no material, no body, and so nothing interesting, the life being right here on this planet and it's about being okay and doing, and even if there would be a non-material world (there isn't as there is no place it would be at nor anything that it would be made of that would make it possible and support its existence), it would be no different, just another place, with a body or not, and even now one can live in the mind, emotions, plus in the body. Other sides are all just shadows, some part of life that all combine as full on this planet, in/on the material world. Nothing else is really missing but the knowledge if we will be reborn or so in some ways, life continue in some way, or not, and some day people will know that also. The life itself is landed on a material place where it's the most complete (at least at this part of the universe though it's material everywhere just maybe differently) and it connects to the whole universe with a variety of lives of the relative past and future, people having been here before us and people having come after us, and a universe that is everything possible and we are slowly moving in that future, though moving or not our life will always be here with the mind that is our life no matter how much still will be added to it and changed in it, the bases we have always remaining in an atomic way as the abc's of life. And if one is looking for the other worlds, they are not in the space here and now but at the part of the universe that came to being much before us, where the people having been here much before us are and the only way to get "there," is to wait till we become that. Maybe we are mortals, at this time of the evolution we live up to like 100 years and then die, but when the material at this part of the universe evolves, the humans there live longer than that and an eternity away from us in space, people there might live nearly eternally (if not by evolution then by human mastery over material, people living as long as they want), but finally they too will die. We maybe should all be mortals, just life itself being important, it being a Being, while we are not but a part of it, the Xmind thing being temporary and limited to one life (or less) except in the way that we exist in a possible time/evolution and so that will last possibly even if the planet dies, though at some part of the universe the planets or so last till eternity or so, and so things progress. I find it difficult to accept that there is only life and the Xmind or/and soul will die but I don't know if there is a rebirth (or I don't only know the facts but I and others have some experiences too but I am not counting them in to my thinking at this time). As soon as it's shown that our loads and Xmind come from our parents (that won't be easy to show but as possible), we have things closer to clear, adding just the eternal evolution or journey of life itself and everyone seeing the fact that we are mortals in a way, there not being any eternal persons, Xminds, souls, not even by evolving, but just life evolving. It's sort of not difficult to know what life is as all one needs to know is what it contains and how things work, the rest being thinking, seeing the picture, and that's why it's already even with the three brain cells (a, b and c) that we have, possible to know pretty well, while in the past we didn't know as much (and people made imaginary worlds not based on what is known) and so there were unknown possibilities, but now we know that much that it's possible to see further, making the past pictures something worse. I have many minds and in no way will pick chemistry nor physics nor their sensoric work level as I have the recovery (of R2 and L6) and maybe emotions (though not separate or counted out on any area but they get secondary under logic, plus the S gets secondary under the N) on a higher importance, and I know I am not limited to being some persona (and any likings of any persona are illusory and one's likings basically mean nothing, meaning I can't say I have some liking(s) but only that I like everything, having all likings, and we all do have all likings when digging deeper and wider) that I might currently be but more or less can and up to need to be anything I want, and there are psychologically more important aims than focusing on a material science (especially as I do fine enough as things are there now while I am not doing fine enough as things currently are at spiritual sciences, just that they are not my areas nor am I a scientist [Ne, Ti, Se], just someone with a useless INTP/S-INTP persona [Ni-dominant, Te, Si] [as it doesn't fit anywhere (best used for doing nothing as Ni-dreamer, that's there also when an ENTJ drops out of his Te and when a Ne/Ti drops out of doing Ne/Ti - visual & thinking - but still is in the NT, that's being with the mind-memory with sort of thinking, or talking, and similarly INTP is at Ne/Ti or TeNi when he does something with his mind, other than dreaming. The NiTe is having a secondary, a by-product look with the SiFe, that's mixed with that look of Ni; Si just being without thinking, it then being about the look-feel of the body and with the body, that will dominate the NiTe any time there is no thinking. As NiTe is about being an NT but doing nothing with it, it's best fit for doing nothing as it doesn't have enough talent to dominate with anything but being at NT and doing nothing, that's the only place that it's dominating), and it doesn't fit on this planet nor on this near universe either, and additionally I am always a burnout though that rates to end during the next 100 or 200 years, though that's easier to say than do and it makes life worse on the way there. The only good things are the Enlightenments that keep me basically e.g. 'clear' about (it just might get pretty unclear if e.g. unreality based N-stuff is tried to be fit to reality but as far as one stays away of e.g. stuff like that one might not up to ever experience it much unclear, while S if clearer too when it relates to S but it doesn't mean N is unclear just that it's closer there as it's not with the sort of clearer S-reality, while even if one messes with the head there is some spot, and the W&C, that stays focused, just that it can't be said that the x-mind is clear then) all the time - though the balance is not able to handle problems at left side chakras very well but more or less loses balance - and that I have a good future, though not so in this life, while in the next I can get the material things more under my control and I will be more okay though still needing to recover] and haven't got enough possibility to move away, and at S-persona, even at S-NF, there is no lack of spiritual knowledge, things being fine at least for me already, but it's not how I see things when I am not there), get loaded and under the N and T and so have limitations in what one can do and be as personality as one is too much dealing with something loading. But I have respect for material, it being God in material, just that there is God in psychology too, that feels more live and important as priority, but when that's done, maybe I could be back at chemistry or material, but I don't believe in (outer) personality and figure to move (to) where the winds are blowing (even when one is not sort of fit there) as it's the priority, need, not what one likes or is sort of fit to as likings are personality and personality is an illusion/x-reality only. Needs are the only solid reason to do something. Doing long studies in a short life (spending the best part of one's life in a book and then wake up before 40 to see one's life has become old and life starts its going downhill), getting loaded (semi to full burnout during studies and after), being limited to being one type, not getting recovered, when one could do a simple work, be free to do and be whatever one wants, not getting loaded, getting recovered. Being a mortal and doing what one is doing, is generally not smart, just avoiding the fact of short life and death among other things. Not being a mortal and doing the things one is doing, maybe one better do something else, and I am pretty sure me doing some mental work is going to be the wrong thing for me to do, and there are more important things to do (than invent some juice drinks in some factory or teach up to the same stuffs the rest of one's life when people could just read it from a book, and do mental loading job and get a burnout or at least not recover and being limited to one personality from the most part, and soon grow old and die) and be free to do, even if that would be only to enjoy sensoric and feeling delights of life and getting better, and then maybe in another life one might do something else, when having got e.g. recovered, and preferably knowing if one is a mortal or not, as without knowing it, motivation is or should not be high enough to do much of the things that usually are done, but it would make more sense to live an easy life or/and get further enlightened and try to find out if we are mortal or not, though I am hoping someone else will do that and then show it to us, but considering the futility of living without knowing, it's best to keep the eyes about it at least partly open, and maybe do also some thinking about it, and some looking and searching perhaps. Being whatever one wants at the x-mind and X-mind (between the x-mind and Xmind as addiction) is possible up to every personality type and not only to an NT even if it might look like it as one can see there are up to highly strong NF-living STs, and then there are up to highly strongly sort of NT-oriented NFs, doing thinking (some other NFs do up to no thinking) and that can be connected to an N or to an S, and as build in it's with the S more naturally but seeing that there is definite intuitive thinking going in the lives of many NFs, I can't say it's not NT even when it might be highly connected to the NF and I can't really say there are NFs that are X/x-NTs, but considering the low level of ability of most NTs, I wouldn't say those NFs doing any worse and in many cases they do much better. The SFs can do NT, so I am not thinking it other than it's generally secondary and their SF dominates it, but any time they use thinking, it's potentially NT. But for the Ss to be Ns, they will need to do, though they could go in dreams, n. But the Ns to do S, they need to drop the N, and NTs to do NF, they need to drop the T and be with the NF, and to be with the SF, they need to be with their secondary function pair, get a feel to it and be with it, and for an INTP that is SiFe, but if he suppresses the Ni (and T) he is at ENFP, and with feel it's possible to get the change without suppressing but just getting the 'feel' of it from memory. Likings are about the outer personality type and other addictions, so they don't count in, in what one is best to do, it being a rational, logical, emotional, I/intuitive and S/sensoric decisions as a whole to figure out what one better be and do in the situation one is in/at.

30.9., sunny 21C day (and the sun was so hot that I didn't know it can be that hot during this time of the year in Finland. It has been extra hot e.g. at Mediterranean and London the last two weeks or so and after that came here), I visited Leppävaara first, was feeling thicker and less expanding than a little earlier, though I went with a bike and I was plenty hot inside, that took a couple hours to unload or something during my continued trip with a bus-metro to east Helsinki, and surprisingly I was feeling it thinner and emptier already at Herttoniemi, and it was so at Itäkeskus where I got off and it wasn't that surprising as it has that quality of emptiness that can make one feel lonely, because of the was emptiness further east, but generally I have experienced it thicker up to Itäkeskus and think they are mere pink, though more or less the infinite emptiness near adds to it emptiness, but overall I don't feel it as clear pink, just that combination, and it might be too early still after summer and it figures to get thicker, and even Kamppi that's still nearer/more the city core than Töölö is, was somewhat of less than red core, though more than Töölö, that was still shiny and not really red core though I went through it with a bus but I think I felt and saw it well enough, while at Kamppi I was waiting a bus so I had plenty time to see there. Why Leppävaara isn't thinner also, I don't know, maybe it gets still thicker and will be lighter in June than during the middle of the winter. Tikkurila etc. might be thicker during deeper winter but nearer the east it's still influenced by the infinite emptiness. About Italy, maybe I don't need to pick some Montesilvano - might have a small free beach, and there figure to be a rocky one just below Pescara or in lower Pescara, if nothing else, and maybe generally one could go to swim without paying at the pay beaches though they are often club/hotel things there, but if one is living in Italy, one might not be taking much sun really, but might want to go to swim, and if that is the case, doing so even in Genoa might be possible (also less high summers and less low winters and/or higher low averages that also is significant [in Pescara etc. the mornings can be cold five months per year while in Genoa they are so three months per year and they are less cold. Half the year one might face cold like every morning, making it a major factor to think about, and some of that might be there later night also, and then one is to note that any temperature e.g. 28C or higher can be too hot], then one just needs clear pink and one might more likely be flatting in some high building, that's perhaps something one might prefer to avoid, and those buildings just might be more near each others in Italy, but with as perfect flattings as possible, things get much better) and for free, and other options are more then. I am having one of those personality changes once again, as a result of doing Se/Ti stuff, my x-mind changes so easily by what I am a bit more doing or deciding, and though doesn't mean anything really, but it shows plenty possibilities inn what I can be and live if I want, just that being Se/Ti under the noisy etc. flats is no good as one sees, hears, smells etc. more under that persona while doing nothing with those Se and ST-things, I can be at Ni and less aware like that, though not that it's my pick but if not at Se/Ti or whatever, I might soon be at clear Ni, but I am not going to stay Ni (if I am all that taking it even now but in case I do nothing, Ni is what I tend to be until I do deep unloding that drops the x-N, and deeper still, the T too, but just being doing nothing the N sort of tends to stay, one lives at it then) but get out as soon as I get Flattings where being a Se is possible (currently someone is hitting a wall and producing other noises, additionally to all standard bangings, and health problems that seems to come from the one living under to my lungs - if one feels the Auras and specifics, then feeling those living near figures even more and that has been my experience, though having one's own aura on one's flat is something one doesn't have somewhere one doesn't live at, but I am thinking that the neighbours are of importance that they a healthy though anything of them would be felt but most of all through one's own flat aura it might be mainly about the stronger problems they have that would enter one's own system also). Some beach place or so at Espoo clear pink seems like a fine place to live at if the clear pink is of good quality and the flat has no noise and health problems, and under such a living I don't necessarily see a reason to live in the UK just because of 10C higher temperature during the winter half when it's much as dark and cooler anyway. While emotionally Italy and Italian seem to be the picks if possible, and even Malta (English) could be a possible pick over the UK, if one can handle the heat - likes the weather type and the sea.

10/2011. I picked the UK as a result of a personality change. I got fed up to living in emotions; they are just emotions and I have had enough and they have no direction nor purpose. Earlier I have got fed up to NT too, as it's making me uncomfortable to live in that box, there being a clear sensoric world outside of it and one is more clear, more x-empty, more cool, living more here and now. So, I dropped the NT and the NF I think. I have the surface clear as a Buddha and that's sensoric and that's where I will live and the place will be the UK. English is good enough considering all points. The weather in the UK is nothing compared to Mediterranean that has more winter light and more sunshine all year and less rain, even less moisture if that's what one also wants, and one can swim in sea if one wants. But one has holiday options in the UK all eternity, and one can even spend a part of the year somewhere else, and up to move away to Malta, Australia, even Canada, if considering just the English language places, and English as one of the mother tongues is generally a smart thing to pick, and saves study time as well as most of the information is in English. Do I have something left after dropping Italian (not all necessarily) and weather (not necessarily) and emotions (whatever that then is); I have my hobbies and Italy is not the place for them. So, to what I am basing my decision on, though is a personality (ST-type, though an S-INTP) but also could be argued is a universally best pick considering all the factors. The sun, light is okay, but the sunshine is disturbing as it brings up, stimulates the persona that would pick something like Mediterranean and the focus gets more away from doings and recovery (from the point of being inside during a sunny day but not from the point of going to long outdoor things that would be really nice in Mediterranean until it's too hot like in Malta that additionally is too moist and the redness levels rather unclear and one would need exactly (good) clear pink that's not easy to find/get and it will also drop down some bother of the high moisture). The UK is a good step in between and I try to spend some time there, like at least ten years and up to come back in Finland for ten or so years of pension and then die (though I might live longer and have holidays too), having, if recovered enough and things still okay enough in the UK for the hobbies, had at least ten years of life (my doings), in the UK. So, at this point I have picked my persona (I don't care what it technically is or and will develop to be as it goes off the usual categories; I just know what it in practice is and that's x-good enough) and the doings. I have picked just about all with this decision, there not being anything unclear anymore, though I have known that before too but now it's more likely my pick and the nice thing about it is that everything is clear enough with this pick, not having anything major that I would need to figure out anymore, all major things being clear, fitting. Just need to get used to the weather in the UK, while I think I have more home and doings in the UK than in Italy, e.g. if I think a two week holiday in Genoa vs. the same in London, I don't see much I would do and feel home about in Genoa, though I would not be able to do much any of my hobbies in London during that holiday, I still would feel it a more interesting or home place to be at, potentially if nothing else, Genoa feeling like a place where I just have like nothing, though these are not rationally connected feelings in a full way, but at least it gave me an important point of view what comes to the importance of doings and some other factors, related to the place and how it makes it more like a home, though much of this is related to my pick of a persona as the Italian persona would definitley feel at home in Italy; the weather and the language, it just feeling by far to be the best place as the Aura to it, while the UK as just an empty Aura to offer to it, but with my picked persona I don't have those connections to Italy and the good sides of the UK weight more and I don't even see what I woudl be doing in Italy, being at the wrong place there with my persona, though if I would have my doings there it would be an easy decision to go there, but as I don't and the language factors (learning Italian vs. all the goods of English), it's no Italy, and Malta is impossible and the UK is better as the doings and as the place to possibly dies at. From most part the sunny and warmer weather is the main things I am losing but I don't have much life left and I go in the UK to do, if I get recovered enough, and the next life I have other English options as well as the English as my possible mother tongue. I am simply packing away the Italian persona and picking my doings, plus some other goods though they are away from some goods of Italy. As long as my feelings remain dead enough, I should have no difficulty picking the UK as I don't have enough reasons to go in Italy, work and study Italian and then have like a 15 years of a holiday as an old man and have just a part of my doings okay in case I might as well forget them in case I have just the emotions but I am fed up there, them leading nowhere and they are stuffing my x-mind, though not as badly as some major NT. And it's still to be proven that my emotions in the UK would be dead or impossible, that they would need Italy. And picking a clear pink area has a good possibility to give enough and the UK being the best pick even when not being dead to emotions. Italian being the better language from the subtle points, I am sure it is, but it's not going to bother if one is not living in emotions. The better weather is not an eternal decision here for me and my focus is on doings and recovery (the latter is plus minus zero perhaps but could prefer the sunnier place hugely but I have things to do and Italy is not the place for it as they don't follow the best as the English language countries offer the best and Italy limits my doings more than the UK does) and it's not that I will not get any holidays if I stay in Finland or/and go in the UK, in case I get recovered enough to even get any holidays. My main thing is not to get used to the weather in the UK, added with some holidays and in the light of all the goods I get in the UK with the price of the weather, while the language factors at my age and Italian ability, I consider plus minus zero, there being a price for learning further Italy (plus loses related to a lesser language ability) that will take goods away from the delights of it that there figures to be some even if one is emotionally dead, that I though don't figure to continue to be that much as one figures to just get full at times, but I have no intension to change my mind anymore but I just think the weather (with some holidays and a short life and optional better future possibilities as the weather for the next life in a bit more advanced world too) in the UK and what goods I get in the UK if I pick that weather. As long as my Italian persona doesn't take over again, I am sticking to this decision and go in the UK if I get recovered enough and possibly even if I don't, just taking some more rest in Finland first, though if I end here in some comfortable flat up to best clear pink area, I might see it rather good in Finland then and stay here, but that is that times vision, the current one sees things as they are now or so (not counting on something that's no way on the sure list to happen) and the move to the UK happens when I feel up to it. Maybe not a great improvement but on average good enough and up to much better that staying in Finland and suffer, there being maybe less suffering in the UK and even if there isn't at least the potential future is then better. Italy is just not offering me enough with my current persona, it being from another planet and not for as the doings are that much worse there, plus the language factor is better as English, also as objectively speaking. Fed up to emotions, not sunny currently, the redness level having increased, bothering a bit more and having now lived with smaller head as not having it bigger as at clear pink, has become a somewhat pain and sort of pressure (with the moisture being close 60% still inside though with the window open - sometimes possible - it can drop to 50%, and weaker ventilation plus other problems as health and smells), and knowing/remembering (seeing) it makes it bother some more, being limited so, and still living with ear protection - currently even with bigger than ever as the neighbour has started to drill holes all day during many days (additionally to having done some works there the last two months) (even the floor and table etc. are vibrating pretty strongly and one needs to stay away of them or have protection there), and maybe the house will soon fall down having too many holes in it, and my health has been weak the last two months and I have limited times I can keep the window open, and I sort of need expansion, clear pink, ears, eyes, space, S, fresh air, health, and doing recovery under bothers is extra difficult when at best it would be a delight and up to a paradise but at worst it can be a hell and I have been more close to that. Being in between of doings (doings being basically a delight) and clarity when unloaded deeper (delight) is a bug in existence as it has more or less anti-life in it, and added to my bad situation as the uncomfort level of my Flatting and the recovery being just a dream.

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