9/2012. Making picks, the differences are not absolute (all the world) when not picking the (closest to) absolutes, and often the (closest) absolute is not necessarily even the best pick based on other factors, other absolutes and optimals. There being more than one factor (absolute or other) to consider. Picking Italian over English is in my opinion the best absolute pick in itself, but there are other things in life and in personas, that also need to be counted in, and English in itself has some aspects that are better than in Italian, and picking English (or some other language, especially if fitting to likings) over Italian isn't more a lose than that, plus all other things one might get by picking English (country). Similarly, there must be the picks on professions, but they are even more related to personas and in my case my needs of being complete and myself and unload too, in my case I can't pick any profession really, as it's on the way of what's best and more complete to me. Picking a spouse, the chemistry part as novelty is the absolute, but again not the only factor, and the inner persona, the other likings one also has can be elsewhere, so it's not a simple one factor pick either, just that in itself, that's where the absolute is, and generally, I would like to pick the absolute. Living under clear pink (at least when a celibate that is/aims for the absolute about purity, innocence, clarity, wisdom, that I picked, but all in all it's some work for the whole life and hard to achieve, and though an absolute, it isn't all there is to it, e.g. if one is not a Seeker, it isn't mandatory) as an absolute, that must be the best pick, but again, it's not necessarily the best pick when putting in all the other factors, though as an absolute, that's the pick that one might better pick, it being with what's the best, as far as that factor goes. None of the absolutes in itself form the best picks, but not having the absolutes included, is a lose. If picking some X-persona and X-life, other than what one is as outer persona, it's possible and up to best to put the Xcurrent/Xbase absolute(s) as secondary, but in the situation one is in, it might not be optimal, and additionally we want many things. We can't get all things but must make a pack, though not that the pack can't contain even contradictory stuffs as the view when one is in some pick isn't the complete life and as a whole not necessarily the best pick even if one could pick it to be the main, that would then start dropping other things more and more as they don't fit to that temperament or so, but at some times one is not always the same, then one is and does other things. I haven't picked to be S-INTP but it's what the outer life has picked me to be, but it will be sort of temporary though I don't know how long this persona stays (one's abilities also tend to keep it alive and rebuild it if needed, even if one hasn't used it as mains for years), all this life, and further, and how much differences there can be inside one outer persona type, but I sure will not be an ordinary version of (S-)INTP as I have other things too in me that were not there when I was an INTP, and I have likings in my heart and mind that were not there before and they are not INTP(-)likings as they connect to other personas where those likings are the main(s). But I need to deal with the reality outside and when that's done, I will settle more and more to what I like, and then it will change me more and more as I live those closer as my mains, but there is a time delay till I get even to the starting point though it's always here already. Just a time delay as I have those likings in me. Picking absolutes is the main aim, and one probably better not pick something else until it's all in all the better pick. I don't go in the UK because of the absolute factors of weather, language and how I feel about the UK, though not that what I feel about the UK is all correct, but even if it would be like all not correct, it would still lack in what I like as weather, what fits to me as weather, and all in all the loses are not too big for me not to pick it, and I am risking not getting anywhere, or getting very late in Italy - I am not thinking that I am not getting there at some point in this life, or in another life, that I wouldn't get that much luck, or won't go, then I won't go anywhere (Italy/Italian being all in all the absolute pick to/for me; so, it will be the A/aim). All this is the result of picking absolutes and relative to person(a) absolutes, and I consider those stuffs that important, them being next in importance to deities, that similarly are just perfect (when happy); their qualities being the qualities of the absolute, and not to live as so, isn't the absolute way, something one probably better aim to live and be more, and that's just about all there is to the dharma (and karma) of life as far as the absolutes go, as the quality of the place as far as it mostly is in these cases, as/like a place or so. The aim is important and is here right now also.

15th September, Saturday, the level of redness again increased (on this day) in Espoo, so that it's now expanding at least to about (Ylä-)Mankkaa in Espoo, but again, it's the redness that comes first and then maybe a week later the clear pink's whiteness covers it too, so there will be no heavier redness felt anymore, like it's felt always at mere pink and red core areas (maybe not during the summer aura, but then there is an additional whiteness (/emptiness) also). The quality of thinner clear pink at least some hundreds of meters away from the Tapiola shopping center maybe to any direction but especially to north (maybe in North Tapiola too), on the road Kalevalantie at the east half part where at the end there is a new S-Market, the road at that part and inside that shop has top good thinner but thick enough clear pink with practically no redness problem in it but just the clear pink and it's top clear, and it's been so from one to four weeks (most likely not before as it's the core summer aura time) before the 15th day of September, but at that day the redness was felt already more on that road though still nice I suppose, and especially inside that shop that was no top clear pink anymore (or at least not till one more week or so goes) something closer it was in/on/at the Tapiola shopping center before that - such clear pink quality isn't the best there is because if has redness in it without it being covered by the clear pink's white light (something similar to left side energy as it's clear, cool, pure and when it covers the hotness from the right side one feel okay, as one does when one unloads that extra hotness from the right and so it's that way balanced as a whole also. And if one unloads really far, then one is like the white and dead like and so up to in Nirvana, in the land of the death without there being any outer – if on the white are – nor inner aura on the eyes, in the x-mind, and so there is no Life and the heart too is empty and it doesn't feel comfortable about it, and I mean the heart when I say the heart, not the mind), though the white part of clear pink will still change it to whiter clear pink at other areas around at least again, like it has been in e.g. Mankkaa in June, and then it's always thicker clear pink than the previous clear pink, though not that it gets all that thick in Espoo as it's generally just thin clear pink (in about Leppävaara it's more as it has extra redness in it at most times) while in Vantaa near Myyrmäki (that's another Tapiola like center I think from the amount of extra redness – though that Vantaa is thicker clear pink but still - while the near Tapiola is like near Myyrmäki e.g. like in Martinlaakso that's near Myyrmäki compared to the best of just around Tapiola at least during the best times. And the same might be for Oulunkylä/Patola road of Norrtäljentie, that's one another road that might have some special clear pink compared to what it's overall around there. Many places have their best spots as generally too for walking though opinions figure to differ e.g. in Kontula the road Kontulankaari from the Metro station to the west has a feel and look of the most central walking/biking road/place on(/of) the whole place - it also has some feel of a beach road - but that's just one part of the best walking trip, that's e.g. 45 minutes as the shortest, around there, and in this as well as in at least some other cases such walking trips go around the shopping center or another central spot, that additional then has the connection to people and action. One another thing that changes the best walking places is the summer aura and around it as the better clear pinks and so can be found elsewhere at different clear pink and so times, and then there is the weather, when it's summer sunny there are some other places one might likely prefer over the places that are better when it isn't summer sunny, it all being in what the places offer at different times though one temporarily more or less might get bored to one place/trip like one gets bored to about anything).

The Autumn has started, some yellow in trees, also a cooler time, but on this above day it was 20C and partly sunny. But usually some 13C like average highs, that reminds me of the UK typical weather according to me, then just adding the right clear pink and with the right persona and doings, a better fit to the persona/doings persona and action or so offered, maybe the language, and without the extreme drop in temperatures to be expected but like 10C warmer about the whole winter half, though still like as dark. So, it's not just 13C at worst with enough sunlight and sunshine, though there are better times also as temperature during the summer and what I have been looking here at this time have been more like 13 to 18C and the light is still up till evening and there is more sunshine too than like two hours, where the fours hours is my minimum need and sunlight too should be till 5 pm at least, then it's not too heavy, though not sure about it as it has been colder then but it's mainly the light considering the late winter also being cold but more light and sun is there and one is waking up already. The January in Finland is just too bad and should be removed. My problem with the UK pick is when it hits my Xmind (or so) as a serious consideration is that I get in the hole plus it's darker and I am not feeling comfortable with those, the weather not being then optimal to me but considering that at such I am much more okay in Finland than in my (automatic) imagination of being so in the UK, I doubt the reality of it. Italy gives me not only not being in the hole and dark (and cold – Finnish below zero is a joke really as it's so bad to me, below zero should be illegal and at least it's up to 7C average high in the UK and that's also something where one might survive, like take a walk and live the darkness) but gives me additional summer life (with) and expansion and sun and light, that's like being awake compared to living in (the) hole.

If that living in the hole is reality, e.g. in Finland there isn't the hole nor that much expansion and sun like in Italy and the middle way here is kind of optimal to me at least in my imagination (that in theory would then make the UK the best for me as far as my state of loads go but my imagination and some facts/likings disagree), just the winter is too bad, there being then no life but the ever increasing darkness and cold when one travels towards the end of the year and at the latter part of December it's like death and the January will be heavy to/for the head as it gets too much darkness and it's so cold that one is trapped inside for sure, so no life exists in January and then it starts to get more light and some sun sometime in February but it's a long walk till before it's like May, when (the) life again starts in a complete way though one has already enjoyed some light and sun and walking and just possibly even biking (it's cold to/for biking even if other things are okay for it) and the spring overall, and I prefer to get some more ready before the summer half starts, and then after five months one has the 10^th month (the 9^th is still good) where one is seeing the summer part turn in the winter part, having the last autumn walks and so till the end part of that month, and then it's 0C and the colder walks start (before that it's reasonable as the autumn is pretty and fresh also and not cold really combined to the summer just behind and the light and sun still being possibilities and if it would be more sunlight and good sunlight and sun too as so in the UK, it would be a nice winter really – like for three months - but as it isn't, it's not nice, to me, just something with the higher temperature, and one needs to go in Italy if one wants those winters and there one can pick of many different winters though it isn't more sun there than four hours at best I think when the winter is cold also but that could be enough, and it's more or less two hours more light also than in the UK and four more than in south Finland) and those walks – and all time inside - are in darkness basically any time of the day, and that's up to two months till the end part of December when it's too cold and little daylight even, especially as the sky is so dark also (I have seen such in the movies and so of the UK also, so dark sky, but I no know if that's what their winter half more or less also is), and that's then the end of the year, and it won't end there yet(;) the worst part is still ahead.

The noises in my flat got some new information as they drill etc. the ground around here so maybe it's what makes the silent sound when using protection stronger than it usually is even here, and it has been heard even without protection now at more, maybe as they are coming closer and it's basically a thing that's like always there now when they work more or less at all times, it being like living inside a humming (and shaking) machine. Soon one needs to put (they come to put) protection on the computer (and to other things) so that vibrations won't damage it, also as the house is shaking, additionally to the increased noise. That's just one building/construction stuff, the other being the metro line, that they will more or less build the next three years around here. Then there are (of course) the building's own noises from people living here, so it's quite a pack at this time especially. I have been using the peas and teddies alternatively, and been doing fine so far but now the hummings are extra strong and even before they were heard when being silent (and it was often or so plenty loud even then). There is some hope that the noise level might go down some in the future, the latest in a couple of years. But that not all as I have first time heard the machines that are just about above my flat (there are some humming machines at the bottom floor also, of course) and it was plenty noisy just outside my door, and when I came back home it was some more silent but I heard it then also sort of clearly, and I have been living here closer to four months and never made a note of that noise even when I have had the humming problem and have been listening around also about the sources (there are/have been many outside from building stuffs to noisy road works during nights). It would seem like it's from the warming system, and it's up to possible that most hums come only from that and it will be a major problem during the winter half, outside the summer, so not a good flat if what's above can be humming machines (the last night when waiting for sleep I was listening a rather loud humming and wondering if I am going to get sleep, that hasn't been the most usual before though I have heard that strong before too these days and it isn't too likely that the workers are working during late evening though they do explosions somewhere during about 9 pm and just might be working up to all day and night). The hum though can possibly be heard anywhere like at mainly fully empty holiday places when it's silent there, even without protection, so it's not necessarily even coming from machines, though that's likely, something vibrating noise. Though the hummings can come from one's own head also but there is a hummer at every building and it's some different at every place and sometimes it's silent, sometimes keeps noise and sometimes keeps more noise and it has been the case so at this flat also and it's at the problem level when it keeps the most noise especially as it's so close to my flat. It can be at times heard relatively strongly at any flat even without protection, even when the hummer is nowhere close, and in my flat the strongest might be so strong that I can hear it without being silent nor using protection and it's plenty loud though I have heard the same in other flats also but it's different and likely came from an unknown outer source every time. But it has never been a problem before this current flat and this might be just the start of it, though if it's silent at times and less noisy at times, it's then worst or so only some of the time, but time shows.

At least it has been 22-23C inside, that's not too cold to me, and it might stay so. The summer was like 24-28C inside (and no heating, or I didn't use it), the higher one before midday (and during hot days) as the sun was getting right in (one would use protection is Mediterranean). The moisture was over 50% during most of the summer, that would be uncomfortable to me at the red core but during the summer aura, that though is better with a low moisture, and then the red core is at its best, counting out the lack/emptiness factor. When the clear pink has been the thinnest here, the high moisture hasn't been a problem, like at white areas one might never make any note of it being high. But even with the thinner clear pink here in June, the moisture when at 55%, doesn't rate to be comfortable to me. The thicker clear pink somewhere in Vantaa might have some 5% less moisture on average as it's further from the sea, though I am nowhere sure about that. The winter half more or less will be dry (in Finland), the summer half being the problem and there seem to be some variety to it from year to year and/or place and it might be that the most moist times are at the end of the summer when all cools down, but it hasn't been like that here at this summer at least and I am more like thinking it's the thing for the whole summer until it's warm and sunny outside all the time (when it some day stops being so things cool down and there is a rise in moisture as far as I saw). The comfort level of there not being red core is a reasonable factor at mere pink already, making some mere pink city life possible, though the more or less narrow awareness and the presence of the heavier Aura around are generally uncomfort factors.

I am not at this point planning of adding some mere pink and/or red core options as I don't really prefer mere pink over red core and clear pink, and the comfort level as clarity etc. is so low at red core and it might not be the best thing to pick from the absolute point of view, but still an option, just that I didn't like the bads off the red core, and I think I might learn something here at clear pink, and as long as I stay comfortable as the redness level is enough for the heart, for my heart, and I am not missing actions or so too much, getting more goods at clear pink, then there will be no red core for me, at least as far as I can help it, and so I lose some, win some, no matter what I pick, but all in all staying at clear pink might be my best pick, but that remains to be seen (and for how long it will be my best pick) as there is emptiness as “actions” feeling here (even in the Aura, I think, as the redness seem to be a part of it and additionally there is nothing as actions just outside compared to the red core – or a mere pink city core - when one is just right there, though not that it's anything but a feeling from much or most part even and so it compares to the other feelings at good clear pink living, where the goods are different) though the heart doesn't feel empty but is comfortable but the mind or so, my mind at this time views this as a lack in actions/red core as and when it's aware of that lack, but how it's going to be at all the different clear pinks and all the different clear pink places as well as with time an attitude, is not clear. A clear pink also can correlates to many places (like in Italy) that doesn't have a red core, it being a more 'silent' type of a life, with more different type of goods than the red core and actions, and so it's a question of what one wants, plus an absolute question among some other questions.

16^th September. A check of the 15^th day places. The increased redness part of the clear pink in around Tapiola and up to Ylä-Mankkaa has been eaten from much or major parts and the clear pink is more comfortable the 16^th day, not having the quality the redness type the mere pink permanently has and even some places of clear pink might have, especially in shopping centers that generally have more redness(-part) than at some distance around them, and that's so about the red core also when going to the edges of the red core where especially the summer aura is clearer and the heaviest core has more redness in it like shopping centers generally have. Kalevalantie is now on the east half more thick and the S-Market there also having clearly an increased redness quality in it but this day it has been much eaten, and that increased redness makes the place feel like more people, like an awakening to people (permanently there at the red core especially), if I put it that way, the lack of it not being felt as much anymore but it becomes like the people and ordinary day aspect is felt more, like entering some place with many people there rather than it being a ghost town. The shop at the start of the other half of that street, K-Market, has now the same type of clear pink quality that the other shop had the 14^th day and/or earlier (these just might change a bit by year) but not as top clear white light clear pink, just close similar, and that same type is there at least up to Ylä-Mankkaa also, that's much similar to what the clear pink was and is still from much part (some more redness in it to the direction of the S-Market that also still has white light aspect in it but with the color of “redness” in it, that one also can see, it having more color in a limiting awareness way as it more or less covers it, but also has its goods decreasing the lacks, but with a cost that one from the absolute point of view would prefer not to pay, rather taking the lack but it depends of the person. The mere pink has coloring always, and that is one of the typical “colors” it has) around Tapiola shopping center. The day was another warm and sunny day (fully sunny this time) with up to 20C, this time also often with somewhat strong wind and this time it was somewhat colder wind. The eating of the increased redness phenomenon seems to take less time when it's a small change rather than when the schools start. The complete thickness isn't yet here and it fits to the whole as it takes like 1.5 months for the summer aura to start, and so it also takes maybe a similar time for the winter aura to come back in full and the first big change is in (the) middle of the 8^th month when the schools start, and then it will change in small parts (I don't know exactly what happened between 15^th or so of the 8 and 15^th of the 9 but for simplicity it's now much the same from the 3^rd week of 8^th, when the school redness is eaten up, to the middle of the 9 at these places), after being eaten in a week, the next for sure change was the 15^th day to 'worse' and then it got eaten in a day and it's better like at Ylä-Mankkaa as it's stronger still though the difference to the 14^th day is in my opinion slim and in no way at the level of June when it has been better (this and the previous year). The winter half might be full like in/at/on the 1^st of the 10 but not all are back from their holidays by the middle of the 8 and so some more it can still increased because of that and maybe for other reasons.

The coloring happens; all things from trees to maybe sky I think also and all things in shops have more color in them, as likely will people have and the connection to things, to all units under emptiness/awareness, will increase; that increased connection is sort of the opposite what happens to the nature connection when the empty part's awareness gets more covered by the redness, though the connection to units will be stronger there too/also as there are only units then. This is a similar phenomenon like the Dhyana meditation where one is a witness of the mind because one is focused on the background awareness. At this 16^th day time at least this is mere pink coloring but at the clear pink area, and at (the) Tapiola shopping center it's close of what it's at Leppävaara, though there too the redness level might be eaten and I have my main experience of Leppävaara from the shopping center that has more redness of course so it doesn't really count as all but can be from that part compared to Myyrmäki in Vantaa maybe. I don't think this mere pink coloring will stay at Tapiola at these parts nor anywhere at clear pink areas other than maybe the shopping centers, but I expect it to get eaten for more, as it's not what it has been in June, though it doesn't mean that it won't be the case during the winter half but it isn't likely, based on what I know from other places, or about the red core and mere pink (and white). But it's an exceptional combination then if it's nowhere as permanent, having the mere pink coloring but having the clear pink also. I am not sure I like it on average as it's a lose at clear pink/expansion, just getting the better or stronger connections and stronger colors (as the [white] light is less the [darkness] colors are more).

During the evening of 16^th day I visited at Matinkylä in Espoo and from whatever light I had left, I would say the coloring had partly got up to there but is like about one day behind and was like the 15^th day in Tapiola, meaning up to a sticky type of redness (at the shopping center) that hasn't been eaten yet (even at the red core it might be eaten more than at these times though it has that – 'negative' - aspect of the red core general quality). Matinkylä also had some more expansion and some more gray (less coloring but also less clear pink's white). Even the 16^th day like 3 pm it was maybe some less at near Tapiola but in few hours increased to still more colorful, and by the evening it had reached Ylä-Mankkaa also and probably further in a fuller way, when just hours before it was more like the white light clear pink of the 14^th day near Tapiola, so it won't last long it seem. The next thing I am waiting is that the white part of the clear pink will increase, and if it doesn't, I would be surprised. And there is still up to one month maybe that these changes might keep happening step by step. When the coloring type or related phenomenon happened in Pitäjänmäki in Helsinki it was the clear pink type changing to mere pink, that it normally is there and that was it then, it not being eaten as the white part was full already. The most coloring at about Pitäjänmäki the mere pink was in May, before I moved, and it reminded me of the type it was when I was young and it was about the times – the end of school – to move in our holiday place, and I was living near Oulunkylä/Patola that's some type of mere pink as I think it should be rated but there are also more or less clear pink parts during the summer aura, just like there figure to be at many mere pink areas, though during other times also I have some mixed views of what some e.g. Patola is, but Oulunkylä (a bit nearer the red core) rate as some type of mere pink, but there is way to go to start giving exact labels as there are all kinds of qualities.

The increased flatting problems and the autumn has made me close to pick the UK over Italy, and those (plus increased (N)T-actions vs. the more nf-type when unloading and then being as so, though not that the T-aspect nor the autumn in itself turn the case to UK, while the flatting factors maybe combined to economic aspect [though it can be more costly in the UK also] [an additional thing coming in mainly maybe] can turn it all by itself, and other than that it's a personality pick and I have basically two of them and if I would be with the unloaded with f/nf-persona version, it would not pick the UK except in the case of ST maybe, picking action and people) things making the pick that way is nothing new to me as the Italian option is there mainly when everything is sort of okay, as well when it's sunny, or it's January and the hangover after it. All other supporting reasons for picking the UK over Italy automatically come up at this point also, but are not neutral, just other goods. Picking a solid option of the UK and English looks like to be on the top at this time and accepting the sort of no sunny weather of the UK, and the dark winters too, and seeing the imagination UK-personality or so transformations in to the hole etc. as non-true as reason says the UK is at least not worse from what Finland is on that point. For my F/nf the UK is up to a horrible pick (but it might be wrong and not counting in the needs and other factors) but for the UK persona picking Italy, it isn't that bad, and so from the average and the absolute (counting out global, neutral, actions) point of view Italy is the better pick, just not practical in my current situation. Any time something bad happens or is more weighted, the UK becomes a (top) option, and when things are okay or my personality is different, Italy is the option. That's why I don't trust to the UK pick, as it's not based on balance on so, on positive factors only, but on the other hand the UK has other goods and it's more practical to my current situation and the current situation is not against optimal or even absolute as things are, and when they are different, only then does the possible absolute dominate and one's optimal too will be different. To compute the right answer from all of those, especially when the persona is still unclear, in a complete way is beyond me. My guess is that the Italian pick is the best as long as it doesn't lack too much in action, that it does not at least when at the nf-persona also. The positive aspects is what I trust (in)to (though one questions those), the UK being the case only because of the negative aspects and just possibly with the significantly better actions. Feelings being wrong about some of the negative and positive aspects, maybe, but there is a logical support to many of them and so I am picking Italy and just accept the fluctuations on decisions when things change outside and are not digested yet or when there is a bias based on the current persona and/or the current situation that both can change up to completely in years and so I can't base things that much on what's happening currently in my life and what I happen to be currently. And if I pick Italy even based on those factors, then adding the possibility that the UK will be a horrible pick emotionally (the f(n)-opinion of the pick) and maybe in other ways also, it's then easy to pick Italy, even if only for the weather and other positive feelings, not considering the bads that there sure are some in many ways, but just considering the general up to blind feelings of the two options, the other happy and the other sad in this case, as dominant factions one questions sadness being worse and if it's even based on reality and what one gets as compensations by picking the possibly sad option, and it sure isn't sad rationally thinking as it's better than Finland (that's happy then? No, just not sad perhaps but my current Finland is connected to the future of not living in Finland and if thinking of needing to be here all life, it can be even more depressing than the UK where one at least puts the shoe on the street during the winter half with no ice and snow on the street and has better actions and a better view to a future rebirth), but it's more like sad compared to the imagined positive aspects of Italy when in actuality to recover under 13C average cool nice weather under clear pink and getting sunny days also as well as holidays if one wants, there simply not being enough logical support for the UK case being sad nor in the hole (until one thinks Finland is even worse but even then being in the hole here really isn't the case and so doesn't figure to be in the UK either, and the UK has positive aspects also and Italy and Italian has negative aspects also, and these are felt emotionally also, just that the overall feel is positive for Italy and negative for the UK, in my case, but the problem is that feelings do not think logically and one might be wrong, but thinking about the absolutes and optimals generally, it doesn't look like they are wrong but might be even smarter, though depending of the person also). It looks like for the wholeness of my persona (at least for my current possibly wrong views, though I think the general average of my persona is better to pick Italy, also counting in all other things, that also have a weight), Italy is the pick, and the UK is in the picture only when it comes to things being bad and persona being more heavy on the T and when not being patient enough as there are still many years and even picking the balanced persona, and even not getting anywhere is not all bad with the right persona, with the right pick from the absolute/optimal point of view, though finally it might better go in the UK just to improve things, if it doesn't get in Italy. Even just the winter half of Finland is enough reason in itself for me to move away. The decisions have fluctuations, but as a whole the right pick is the one that will be there more often than some other option (and it rates to be supported dominantly by absolute, optimal or/and positive aspects, rather than by negative, doings and actions, though there is some overlap in those options), except if the outer and inner situation is biased, things being bad.

10/2012. The increased redness in much of Espoo wasn't temporary but has lasted over one month, though it's clear pink, like it's in about Myyrmäki, Vantaa also, there being some more coloring there too, and the clear pink isn't as impressive as during the summer though around Myyrmäki, e.g. in Martinlaakso, the quality is still with its special good, just that it was rather cold (8C with a bike) to really enjoy though at some sunny moments it was better and it's special I would think about there all year and the clear pink is fine around Myyrmäki and in Myyrmäki all year, no low times and generally impressive summers, just not as good when it gets colder from other reasons as it seem it's 'colder' there for some reason than in Espoo like Leppävaara down to Tapiola and further, and there was a feel of some more lack of people that's though contradictory if the redness is the same as people as the Aura there is thicker than at these parts of Espoo, though that Vantaa is sort of closer Helsinki (some on the very edge of Helsinki have more or less clear pink also though it's generally never a quality in Helsinki but it's maybe possible at some spots in Helsinki also though I don't like anything but the good clear pink when one is not central to action), getting redness from there but in itself it's maybe like lacking some more action though it doesn't by facts look like lacking action in comparision to more or less of Espoo, to these Espoos, but it was my feel at 8C, and I have had some similarity of such a year earlier there also, so I guess that is the downside of Myyrmäki and around, that then doesn't seem to make it better than Leppävaara, that also doesn't have a downtime and feels more homey like down to Tapiola (when it's not too thin) and beyond, compared to the cold times Myyrmäki and around, that feels nice during the summer, overall much better than the downtime Espoo, but only during the summer, the winter half being something to worry about until seeing it otherwise, e.g. inside it might be nice during the winter half also, as long as the airplanes etc. don't keep too much noise.

My pick of Italy for the weather and the language has been holding and the reasons being the optimals and absolutes, and in case I don't get there in this life, I get there or to a similar situation in my next life and in this I have Finland, some Italian and maybe a bit of Italy and the related persona to some amount, being open to it and (at least) partly with it. So, looks like I am basically done on that subject. I have some more things to get clear for my future but  I am at the moment clear enough about them also when it comes to the near future in this and the next life. All the 'thinking' having come to something, and seems natural also that after all the changes in my life, there is a time for 'thinking'.

I so have picked what I originally picked after Nirvana, or during 2006 when I was looking into countries, and then studied Italian, but then at the end of 2009 things changed as a lot of counters hit in like they hit after any pick and things were additionally shaken in many ways, but that's mainly over from that part for many reasons. One being of balance, when one is comfortable, then picking the best rather than a negative need. The picks also become a part of the whole Xmind/X-mind and the whole outer situation from when the picks are new, showing their truths or so more clear and stronger in the x-mind/X-mind at that time but still they are the truths after also, as I came to think. The weather and language factors have got clearer to me. My path also has become cleared, that I am an S-INTP, a limbo persona, not just INTP, and there is an optimal to my persona and to other situations in me and outside, and that optimal (the deities and the (X)mind) is the path, and though it's not all clear of what it's going to be, that is the path and I have some parts there clear, some elements and I know they will be from their part leading me into some directions, that I don't exactly know, and that's the unpicked pick, it being the path, and it has its optimal to it, that middle or so being the major in it, the minors, the parts, then having all the things that I have come to value or pick in life and what's more or less the best for me or/and to my current Xmind/X-mind. Picking a path and not picking, the picked unpicked, looks unclear but is clear enough in practice when one knows it as a whole and much is picked and information of outside and inside worlds has happened to form that "path", that might be the right word for it rather than a "pick" of something, it being the pick of all that optimally fits into the best picture. And I am sort of temporarily content to that Pick as there is nothing better, that being it, my path.

Much of balance is the comfort of clear pink or so for me (though one could be so with unloaded balance in the white area also but it's limiting), my heart being steady, being like patience, steady. Some dream like aspect also to it at this increased redness level to the direction of mere pink or thicker clear pick, that's some Soma drink of forgetfulness also. And then action, that I have picked some more and will aim to increase my passive Italian words and keep them and then all preparations, that there are like an endless looking like line and for years all of it was not even known, though not that it's all clear now either, but I know what I can know and prepare for and what I will just have to deal with when I face them and see if I make it. Preparations is the thing that seem to spoil a lot as it takes so  long and all life seems just to be a long preparation, but I figured that I need to prepare, including learn Italian, it just being the only right path for me at this time, and not that I haven't achieved anything in this life by preparing, just that it always takes time and from most part often seems useless, to get the things, P/persona, P/path, and the practical things that's the outer reality that has (if one is lucky enough) only a secondary meaning in what one should pick, the D/dream being the real thing. No way this Pick would have been possible for me without the study of the outer and inner factors, though it has also been kind of like adjusting into the O/optimal that was about there after Nirvana and so calling it my pick isn't all the right thing to say as it has also been about adjusting to optimals, absolutes, inner, outer, inner and outer situations or possibilities.

11/2012. Matinkylä in Espoo, at the shopping center, at these times has more expansion and white light than around Tapiola, and so is more comfortable, it being a positive phenomenon, feeling better with more expansion, that is positive in itself plus one has less pressure in the head, more white light, more clarity, more lightness, being in the more or less awesome category of the fairyland though the increased coloring and redness hit Matinkylä also and when coming back for there to the area of Tapiola, one might not see all that much a difference (having some Matinkylä in the x-head still) as when one went to the direction of Matinkylä where the Aura is getting redness lighter during the way there already. When adding the fact that around Tapiola is having a good Aura only about June (it probably changes soon after schools stop there while in the red core it take about 1.5 months), it makes Tapiola not a top pick for me, further thinning the area that is good, and on the remaining areas there are auric or other good and less good sides but they are better, even Leppävaara if it's similar to around Tapiola is better as it has no partly white (too thin) summer aura problems and has more action and no problems to mention that I would be aware of but maybe windows from the view point of view and then transports might be some more tricky and it costs double to travel to Helsinki until walking a part of the way. The about Myyrmäki to e.g. Martinlaakso isn't all known to me as the air-noise in Martinlaakso especially could be too much and the winter half up to early June isn't necessarily as good (to know better I would need to re-check now that I know what's the difference between e.g. Tapiola and Matinkylä at these times, and then I could better look into Leppävaara and Myyrmäki also, and there are other parts in Vantaa also that can and likely are up to very good though at more or less of them the action is much limited as there might not be much anything but a shop and so. One is much limited to near Vantaa in Vantaa though in theory at the on/in the east side of Vantaa one might go higher, just avoiding getting too near the east edge) with the Aura as Martinlaakso is or at least was after middle 10 also - so likely remains so. My vision (my thoughts about things), additionally to other lacks being produced, into things is different when I am not as expanded etc., it having its amount of the similar pressure to the head as the red core and mere pink has, just not so much (one might not see a problem with it when this light, but on the other hand one might and when having compared it to better) and is anti-enlightenment, at its Brahmanic level though that is also generally better as it's just not a period but a thing. Sensitivity to things around, other than from the part that one is more focused on things than to the space around them, decreases and the amount of feeling things so drops and it's not clear to me of how thin the Aura needs to be for one to feel with full sensitivity- at least the white with not being dead white at Kontula Helsinki was fully sensitive, but even at clear pink when light, one feels that weight/presence more and it can reduce the sensitivity of feeling things around (and one might not be in Nirvana ever without white area though one can always visit there and it isn't comfortable to become a Buddha in white area anyway as it's all dead then when one's own chakras also do not produce an A/aura around one's body and eyes, and in the x-mind; then nothing has life(-energy) in it as fas as one can see and feel, it just all being dead. But at least one is more sensitive to things when not having the Aura at least as there is nothing or no thing in between; one is not as supported by more or less anything outside, nor inside if one is so also, additionally to maybe dropping right side support as I did at that time and being at the left. Supports are good, especially the right side support of enough amount and whatever Aura around one feels optimally comfortable with, and counting other things also in the whole). But clear pink is the compromise when one feels the best as so, just that even it might reduce the sensitivity of what one feels, plus of course one feels more supported by the Aura and so will be less (negatively one might think but it depends of the person and his situation, it having its goods also) sensitive from that part also. So, the Aura is also a negative phenomenon as it's also like pressure around, not just as comfort - and with that I prefer the expansion etc. also and it isn't that easy as there are not a lot of places and they have their problems also with the Aura or/and in some other ways. The east and west sides of the cities, one can't go too far there and even if one picks from the middle, between the red core and the white edge, one does not necessarily get but mere pink or some mixture of white-red rather than exact clear pink with expansion and white light (the more awesome combination, on the fairyland category or categories - the summer auras also make differences here so that they can be there at more or less mere pink areas also during at least some part of the summer) and the density of people living around and the possible bigger gaps between, they all make a difference, and then there is the north(-south) sides that differ in that they have more horisontal area with the center when it's spread like that can be better but it also depends of how thin e.g. the edge of Helsinki edge on that side is and how soon it's like empty in Vantaa, like the around Myyrmäki getting maybe some more redness from Helsinki so being thicker but sooner having empty (white) above and so getting light fresh air from the white area to a thicker Aura otherwise from the Helsinki side (that could be like a mixture of red-white but isn't in this case, just maybe because of the horisontal area or/and Espoo near also and so probably making the upper middle parts more likely being like that, and also might stay more than on average steady as so all year, and some near half of Espoo - and near half of east Helsinki that it though seems to from more or less part fail to be - but not too near when there is still so many people living further). The lack of action and any other lacks are also factors though to have just the perfect Aura is basically the thing to have, to feel up to maximum state of existing, doing then additional travel that's though time/money and one loses more or less of the action part of existence except if the Aura doesn't matter to one, one way or/and the other, then just picking maximum action or other.

12/2012. The humming (that most likely is also the universal sound "OM" as there is nothing else if counting out one's own head, and the OM sound is just like that) in my flat is likely not at all about the hummer room (heating etc.) but comes from any outer source that is causing some type of sounds or vibrations, and one can hear it anywhere, even way outside of the cities, where it's  also more silent, and being inside one is isolated from other sounds, so one can hear the OM even stronger as long as one has no sounds there or one is not much focusing on something in case one might not make a note. There is likely some underground works going around here, around Tapiola and I walked on that area and around (further away it was more silent but the whole area hears it extra strong up to a couple of chilometers) and it can be heard anywhere more or less strongly depending of the exact place, using ear plugs deep in the ear and being non-moving and silent for a little moment. It's been stronger since the start of the winter it seems, and so it figures to get more silent in the future, perhaps, in case it isn't permanent - and more strong during the winter half. To get sleep more comfortably, I use e.g. the silicon peas, the clear ones, though one can use anything half inside the ear, and a significant part of the humming is cut off (I often use them at other times also as the teddies won't rate to help against the humming but increase it - at least because of more isolation from other noises - that also cuts some softer sounds off like the teddies do and is often a mandatory thing at many flats and if the noise problem is bigger(,) it doesn't combine with the humming problem and one lacks in good protections outside of using teddies with music, that's x-loading if used too much and one is then too much at the left, at the left sea, 'below' the surface, 'below' the balance, though not that one necessarily needs to be in so x-balanced also but one can compare and move to x-left, x-right, x-middle, x-elsewhere, but as a permanent state or when one doesn't feel good being too deep in there, or too long in there, and there are also other ways to be on the left than that, depending of what one is x-loading, using), though the exact humming type might make some other exact type of hearing protection better. And one can use some noise inside the flat. It might make some good to listen how strong the humming is at the area one is thinking of moving in. The humming is time dependent at any place and not always the same or even there. I also think that the eye "problems" that I sometimes have had here, the eyes feeling like tired, having that little type of a pain or so in them, is possibly because of the humming also, and with more silence of the humming (and of any noise) one might feel the eyes better, more relaxed like more open or so then, or the whole body/being also more relaxed; silence of such too being relaxation to the body/system as the subtle stress level to the body (or/and the mind) because of the vibrations become less or diappear completely in a moment of such silence. Lots of other things there are that have their own negatives and a part of the optimums and absolutes things is to decrease the stress factors and increase the absolute (deity) factors.

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