9/2011. More or less there is the personality to pick; no country to be picked, nor language, as the personality picks them; one just needs to pick the personality, and then one might need to take whatever it wants. If one picks the country/language, whatever, it picks the personality, and so too one picks the personality, though possibly sort of because of the country etc., but picking another personality, it picks another country. Pure likings are pure picks of personality, mainly outer personality. All likings come from personality, outer personality, and have nothing to do with our own likings that we do not have, other than maybe some doings/undoings needed to be done. All likings are dreams of the outer personality and there is no reality, just the dreams, and one needs to pick one dream over the other, that is not possible as they are all parts of the whole, but still one can't be them all, though one can keep changing, but it's not possible to relate it to this or that country, language, job, wife, doings but one needs to pick a major, and I do have a preference and a direction, and it's at the Se-side rather than Si-side that's too limiting as space to me, though that's what my base personality is and would relate to Finland and the UK and to my situation and so be the best pick, but still the other personality is saying it's the better pick, that it's my future, that I like it the most, that it's my best life (though all outer personas say the same thing, that they are the best, at least if one has not had too much pains there, while I do not like to be in INTP though I have been there too lately and seen the possibility of being there as the best personality and it being me, and me it's supposed to be, but I don't believe into fixed personality, just to picks (and to recovery - that's up to possibly in a way related to the case also as the other personality other than the one that is loaded and what is the past) - even if they are just one's life and the outer persona more or less remains), and I believe it (though in theory it's more likely a mistake, but I like it more), though it's not clear of what the pick at the Se-side is as there is the N and there is the S and there is the T and there is the F, and E and I, all having a space aspect, but whatever, I really don't need to know what of the details I would be picking as they are all fine and fit all to the same country and all to my future. The grass is greener on the other side it seems, and I believe that to be the situation in my case.

The logical reasons for prefer(r)ing Se over Si could come from desire of expansion, among other reasons. In white and red area I had no significant difference between desires of the UK and Italy, though people thing was a part about the UK in white area. At mere pink I chanced from preferring the UK to preferring Italy, though it was because of the change in personality but that was induced by the change from more expanded clear pink to mere pink, as I did have the desire to change my decision from the UK to Italy in the clear pink too, the mind making those changes there too but it didn't correlate with the clear pink that correlated with the UK, with London. Not sure of there is even a desire for favoring the Se-things if one has the clear pink as it covers the expansion too, and additionally it might like the cooler weather as it has no heat bothers (inside) that get heavy when they are months all the time and doesn't cool down enough even during the nights, that it might at some parts of the world do and be cooling. But, Italy and Italian and sun and Se and sea, they might all be illusions that are not there at clear pink - that I did feel disoriented but the aura of the place wasn't mine yet and so I wasn't so "centered" and myself, as a possible reason plus it was still a summer aura, and I felt fine outside, that's less good now that it's mere pink only, also the comfort level has decreased inside, nor feeling the things as as clear themselves anymore and the air has the mere pink, making it worse (it seems it got still a bit worse during about the first week of 9 in Pitäjänmäki, and that day I compared it was also sunny and close 20C [another two of those days seem to be still coming some days later though they might be just the top - around it it's soon less], that also felt different than the summer though it should not be because of the more mere pink only as it felt rather pale outside but could have been the increased pink and a lower temperature also. But I came to think that my ultimate pick could be clear pink in a sunny and warm place and if it has to be reasonably hot during like three or four months of the summer, it might be worth it, though hot and constant hot are bad things, to me), and the head is smaller, one being more here as the head or body, mind, unit, limited as less expanded, less clear. The clear pink as well as getting rid of the constant heat during the summer might change things significantly, and the UK looked like the things in the clear pink that I was during not my flat aura and summer Aura as it clearly correlated with the UK and negated the mind born change to Italy when it happened. The clear pink also was the Place, while the other (red)ness levels have more drive to something, not having a Place as clear or at all. What is real and what is not, what is the best pick and why and based on what place or illusion? What is the weather like, and as related to the P/place (only the clear pink seems to have an opinion that might negate Italy etc.) and persona (I know that somewhat). Hot gets less cold and more sun, so it's not only bad, and generally it also means warmer and more sunny and more light during the winter half, but maybe it's about picking either the winter like in the UK (the cool air feels up to really good after having been months under hot outside and inside, but can get pale with time), or then a summer like in Mediterranean somewhere, though that's not all there is to it, and it's the persona that will pick the place, and the persona (the country actually, that then picks the persona) is picked by the Place. I need more experience of living in clear pink (though not that all of them will necessarily give them same answer) to see if it picks the UK (or Finland under good Flattings) and so it would be a perfect solution as the UK is clearly the best pick, but it will not be picked at any other levels of redness, especially not if I am okay, in case I would go in Italy and have a life rather than be depressed in the UK. But the bottom line (not so much considering that I am an invalid) is that I need more info from the clear pink area living and see if it will pick and up to clearly point (though can be only an outer personality like 'opinion') that the UK is the best pick, or that in my invalid case I would be best to be in Finland (under good Flattings). But as the pink is now, I can't get the answer; if I am still here one year later, I will have one summer Aura (might not be the same thing) under my own flat aura, in 2012, though just one month but I will see up to enough during that time. I currently call the clear pink as the only place with a big P(lace), though I use that generally too, but the Place is what I am looking, though the clear pink favors the UK and so seems partial until it's the truth, like I did see other things too and made other picks under that clear pink, that seemed to be like the best picks, but that is not the case anymore under the mere pink, putting me back in the split I am familiar from the red and white areas also.

I have the UK as my pick, it improving many things, and the summer half figures to be there and in Finland warm enough (no cold flat. In Italy the flats and life would be too hot all summer, to me, additionally that I am no ready for the place in this life, and it's not necessarily going to be my place up to ever as I have my doings that currently are and likely will be the best in my next life(s) too in the UK, and only after that there is room to schedule in something else like Italy. No Malta either as it's too hot there too plus there are other lacks and limitations compared to my options in the UK/London) though the quality of the flats is unclear, e.g. are they silent or not, but they will be on a clear pink area most likely, that in Finland means Espoo or Vantaa most likely, and in London some about west side place or, in case of hobbies/work, selected about east(-south) side places, and all those places are generally maybe like Espoo and Vantaa, and I am fine with them. Metro/train connections figure fine in London at those areas, though one might have to use more than one or two of them during the same trip and in many cases it takes more or less time to get to the train/metro and then from there to work/hobbies. In cases one might better buy a car. Espoo will get its metro at some point (though it's double costs twice to go in Helsinki or Vantaa and there might be a bus that goes just as fast inside Espoo and even to elsewhere, and the busses might not be as slow as in some places like mine), and the rest are somewhat train (metro in east) friendly. There also might be a straight road for at least bikes at the sides of the metro/train lines. Bus(s)es might be very slow; at my current place they take an eternity to go to city center and I could come from much further away with a train/metro just as fast/slow. I bike from my current place to the city center as fast as the bus, it being that slow, and there are "pro" bikers that bike faster than I do. Biking is a serious option for some, the only problem might be the rain and the winter (up to half of the year) temperatures even during the days. Italy would be better for me to do biking (at) but I might have to walk there, though if the roads are good enough - maybe there is not enough room for bikes and the roads might have many holes - and I get enough biking in to cover the saved costs (and if not eating and drinking extra) of public or private transports, though not to use them also costs money if one has them too, on average before it gets stolen, it would be an option (if keeping the bike in one's flat perhaps). My options of doings and personality are limited to my past of what is left of it as to be done and interesting to me (Se/Ti things; mainly nothing for the N), and from much part there is not an infinite difference to what I can do and be now compared to later where I can do more and with a different weight in doings; the more serious recovery part needing less mental. So, I am not as much an invalid as I would be in many other cases, it being a somewhat lucky happening because of my more sensoric hobbies (that are the only things left now that all seeking is mainly over). It's also nice to know my future like that, that is just missing a few details of how fast the recovery will happen and will I end up moving in the UK or stay in Finland. The other minor details of my life and doings are not significant, that are outside of my main picks in life of main doings, work, country. The country as the UK/London seems to correlate in my case with clear pink, recovery, hobbies (and economics, work and the list of 100 reasons in favor of the UK vs. the list of 10-20 in favor of Italy, and since then some more points have went to the direction of the UK and some left from/of(f) Italy and Italian) and so the summer Aura's clear pink had a significant input into my decision, as well as the lack of recovery at that point, and as a whole for the first time the UK got its major support, seen from the view of the Place, recovery, and the hobbies that basically are my life and the related personality, life, other doings, attitudes, views, work, P/place, country, language, everything as they relate to that person(a).

I visited Tikkurila in Vantaa, with a bike from west Helsinki, it was a comfortable start with some 18C and occasional sun, but got to 16C in Tikkurila and the latter half of the non-straight journey there I was having cold, but that has something to do with me that time also as 16C is not that cold and I was okay when I was biking back in darkness and it was 13C. Maybe there is some easy way to get to Tikkurila with a bike from west and south Helsinki, but it won't be easy to find. The railway road for the bike is on the right side, like it's with the train that goes to north-west Helsinki (and then to Espoo), but this time I am not sure of how much it helps; on the right side of Oulunkylä, it was straight and fast and one gets to about Sörnäinen with it easy and fast and if taking an earlier turn somewhere (I saw there one), one just might get to west Helsinki, but I don't know, but the lines to north-east Helsinki and above, are not to my liking, though not that some buss that goes to Haagas is any nice at all when it goes through them but that might not be the only buss there is, and the train too goes there (if one lives near enough of it(,) it might be of some use also). Tikkurila wasn't white but it wasn't any thick clear pink either. My first impression was positive from that point, and the place itself looked/felt like some Lappeenranta (where I was some 30 years ago) and so is a rather different case than all these places I have tracked before this. Though my judgement is possibly somewhat off as it wasn't so sunny and it was colder (also the summer Aura Tapiola in Espoo felt "colder" because it was just some 18C perhaps, maybe 1C less). It's easier to track when it's sunny and warm as they add to what one sees and without extra uncomforts like darkeness and cold, and so one depends mainly on feel, and even that is not as clear but darker, more dead (I visoff compared to that, but it could be a bit more compared to something else and it wasn't the first time I was tracking Oulunkylä/Patola - every time it has been the same even on the exact spots though during this trip I felt it thinner at some spots, on Patola side, though the sunshine and warm might add some and that spot has always been special and extra nice and so I think it's just the same, and it's just 9.9. and it might still get a very little stronger - like during June the Aura might be very little less already, though it's more sunny and warmer. But the summer Aura is mainly a thing of about 15.7. to some - a week or two perhaps - 15.8., but there might be fine details and more where it's subtle anyway). Additionally, being in the pink area seems to have decreased my ability to feel the red core as clear, though a part of the reason might be that it's not as shiny and warm, but that's nowhere all to it. I looked only a bit further from Tikkurila and was feeling it rather empty though I am not saying it's white, and getting closer to where people live rather than being half way, might increase it again. This is a dangerous place so near the east side infinite emptiness, and that's why there feels are like they are at this area, though it was positive in Tikkurila, but also it's like Lappeenranta, something I haven't felt so about any other place I have tracked so far, including way the most of Helsinki and like half of Espoo, or maybe more than half if forgetting the empty parts of it (where there are e.g. lakes, though there are spots near them that are on the area that might be still clear pink), and then the south-west of Vantaa that had the thick clear pink, nothing like some far away place like Lappeenranta, not even in Matinkylä (though I haven't been there during colder more dark and as I am now but I don't think it will be like Tikkurila though there might be nothing so different in its pink compared to Tikkurila other than the effect of the infinite emtiness maybe closer, and that's what I am worried about these Vantaa places though there are people that live way way far and near above there, above Vantaa too, but I am worried). I did not expect it so(,) so soon after Helsinki, but the infinite emptiness so near has it's effect to it, plus it was coler and darker though it wasn't dark yet and it was 16C when I was there, but little above, I started to feel a bit "weak" about the pink level, but it doesn't mean things are not fine there, and moving a bit to the left might also make some difference, though the airport is that much closer then. It was much my fault that that 16C was feeling colder but the Tapiola case wasn't even that cold and it was already not that nice, the level where I can survive is pretty slim, not sure about the 18C but I put it now okay, and then it's fine to 23C barely and depends, the 24-27C one needs to play smart and under the best cases it's fine inside and outside while under the worst it's too hot outside and inside when it lasts months like straight, though when I am feeling these under 18C and even included giving me uncomfort, I am thinking about the 24-27C instead (with 6C lower temperature lows in Genoa - every month the average difference there seems to be 6C between the highest and the lowest C during the day, or in M/may it was 7C; the low number also might be important, e.g. at some parts of Mexico it's like 20C highs all year - plus e.g. Genoa summer - plus the nights can be relatively cold - it might be nice if one could get some serious cool during summer, like mornings and nights, though the water temperature would figure to suffer. Mediterranean is not like an absolute in weather [though it has lower lows too, e.g. Pescara, Pisa/Livorno in Italy go down to 17C during peak summer from 29C] but to me it has a better language and potentially a less powerful and safer sea and it's in the EU, that's not all bad, and so the combination is in/on the direction of the absolute to me), would it be that bad, but it can be bad inside when the lower temperatures might not be, just that one gets more sun with the 24-27C, like 10 hours per day vs. 2 hours per day at (2-)8C. I am sure Malta is too small and too hot for me, but it's not clear some Genoa isn't better for me from the weather point of view and especially if I could fill my mind with action, be expanded and more colorful, then Italian is at home, but first things first, and I can't get my doings and those things put together to the same pack, it being impossible, and so I will just have to take the pale weather, and even if there would be a way to Italy, it would be so unlikely to happen that it's not worth considering, and are things good enough there economically anyway, plus whatever doings one will be lacking; I just do not desire any more problems, and going in Italy would be asking for them, and only if I would be okay, would I be able to handle the problems and even if I couldn't, it would be so bad, I could go elsewhere and jump in a warm sea; in Malta they seem to have salt water pools too, that's nice as I like to swim in salt water, really hating (plus loving) to swim in tap water as there is no support. It's pretty likely I will have to stay in Finland, and the north-east Vantaa doesn't look like the place from more or less part but basically Tikkurila is fine, just that it's not in Finland but in Lappeenranta, but it looked fine, basically, generally, though maybe not like my place but life sucks much everywhere (even clear pink areas are tricky as how those clear pinks are, inside and outside, and what's the effect to one in a day or more run, plus the other feels and facts of the place), and I didn't look the rest of those north-east Vantaa places, it also not being a sunny and warm time to do easier tracking, where one can also see, plus the negative depressions of cold and darkness are not there, plus the sun and warm can increase the positive feels, making it further easier to spot, though there might not be a difference to me now that I know, I should be able to see white, pink and red core, but more subtle than that, might be more difficult. [[ there was some copy-paste error so the next text is not at the right place]] ited Suurmetsä in Helsinki, above Jakomaki - on this same trip, and though I felt the pink, that's pretty much all I could name it as maybe 15C and in darkness, it being way off what one can feel as bliss when it's sunny and maybe warmer, especially if not having got used to clear pink. On my way to Tikkurila, when it wasn't dark yet, Oulunkylä/Patola was mainly like it has always been, and I wouldn't necessarily say my judgement is much ... - I think it's just a bit different as I am at the pink flat and it's darker, colder at this time, and I am more used to redder during the last year, plus I am not all myself and not feeling physically perfect either, but I think things are as before but I might need to look them a bit differently than before, a subtle new calibration if even that if I get in a better shape.]]

In the theoretical case I get healed enough, I am going to try Italy, this being now based on taking better weather and accepting Italy as covering my doings well enough, and I had one preference change there too, that was an important half_point away from mere UK (101.5 to like 15.5 now, Italy having the clearly favoring 15.5 points now). When this being the case(,) Malta is not far away of being possible but it doesn't beat the UK at this time as I want something major and both Italy and the UK on their own ways offer that major, and Malta is every summer too hot no matter where in Malta one lives, while in Italy one might try such for some time and then move to another city, and Italy has much more action, options than Malta has. But it's Finland for/to me, and if it becomes possible to move in Italy and getting there, then I will be there but other than that it will now be between Finland and Italy up to the rest of my life, until some outer thing changes things so that I have to move to another country, though I figure to try other than the UK in that case first. But I see that I might be living in a silent enough flat in a clear pink area in Finland the rest of my life, as long as the outer and inner things stay the same as they are now/then. More sun, more winter light, some sea, Italian, warmer (too warm summers but no (semi-)pale under 17C or so like 7 months per year but maybe 5, that's still plenty though can be cut further down in Italy but the action too can go too down as well as the islands don't speak just Italian and have hot summers; Genoa being my first pick, though sort of close to London but still more winter light and more winter sunlight, less pale weather, can move later, and the Genoa average lows look more like the average highs in the UK. The UK doesn't look all that great compared to Finland, just 10C higher winter average highs, but I am sure missing something as it's huge and for many people it's excellent, and generally it's the up and go country and one can move later to somewhere else, after having leared its language, that could be an additional 10 to 20 years). I will have problems in Italy I wouldn't have in the UK, but it's my pick; it has its goods too, including the state of mind I prefer, that's there somewhat even now when I likely end (up) living in Finland, not getting a possibility to go anywhere, though if things get too bad in Finland, I will have to move and any place possible is then possible.

Pale 17C or something line, like 9 in Helsinki are pale (3 not pale), and in Genoa almost half are pale (and like half of the remaining are basically too hot), though basically no under 11-10C that are superpale, and under 7C are cold and the morning temperatures in Genoa do not necessarily go much if any below 7C as an average. Etc., pale thinkings. Comparing pale days of the UK to Italy, they might not be too many as a difference, but I have other reasons too to pick Italy. Not Malta either as it's too hot and if it isn't, in Italy one has the option to move. I will pick maybe a place like Genoa first, or if not getting there first, then later, and still later one knows more about everything, like how one can handle heat. My decision is final, and I pick the best weather possible I can handle and get, cutting off Malta as too hot (and small, action less) and the UK as not 'hot' enough (and lacking in some ways in my case).

I visited Espoon keskus with a bike, 10th September. The day was similar to the day before when I visited Tikkurila in Vantaa, and in both cases the sun was much behind some cloud (or a clown in this case as it insisted to be in front of the sun all my way and from other parts much all evening though there was some sun too. The sky itself was mostly/all blue). It was anything from 18C to 16C, depending how early on the trip it was and if one was getting sun or not, and even at 13C later when in sun, one was feeling okay. These level of pail (and wetty as they might feel) weathers feel colder after the summer, especially when first faced and there is the comparison to summer one, but even here it might be possible to survive and not think it's worse than some hot day, though they might be better with a bike than they are when walking, it being less cool when walking, though it's maybe warmer when walking during the spring/autumn, depending on/of the wind especially. The direct line from about Pitäjänmäki to Espoon K/keskus wasn't there and was cut already before Leppävaara, so I continued along Turuntie, that's a nice bike road to west, and pretty soon I was already feeling the Aura thinner, sooner than I expected, though not reason for panic, and some more distance and the air was feeling fresh and I made a note that autumn had come (I again didn't note it when I was in Espoon Keskus) from/of how it felt and cooler and the green things not all green, the sun was less hot, and it was thinner pink and the fresh air I have to mention again, so if one wants away from any heavier feel of the pink, even cler pink if it feels heavier (like more moisture feels heavier than less moisture and is an uncomfort factor, just that the clear pink when any heavier is also a comfort factor, both), plus the fresh air. Such is how one might see and feel the nature when having fresh air (at a place where there is such), so, now I might call it something like "clear nature," not necessarily as good in some general clear pink area (that does not necessarily have/has as much [of] 'fresh air'). Partly because of that I took that Turuntie all the way to the end part of Espoon Keskus before I dropped down there, and I felt the pink getting more already before entering Espoon keskus are, when still significantly away from/of it, and when entering it, I felt the air quality drop further plus some bad quality in the air, and a few hundred (of) meters more I felt it further worse, just like it wouldn't have been enough already (though I was entering from the fresh are, for comparison) and I was thinking I have entered some garbage collection place that has been built on, though it's not bad but it's not great either, after fresh air. As I kept biking in, I saw it was silent, good quality or cleal pink, just with those added contaminations, though when entering a shop (one should try to enter shops as they have lights and one gets in contact with the Xmind in those situations), I felt the quality of the pink makes it really nice, and I didn't take a note of the extra contaminations at that point. It wasn't too noisy as Saturday 18:00, just some six non-whites collected in a shopping center, maybe waiting for all to come and then they left, and one woman keeping strong voice in front of some pub or so in that pub, and some living in a house in the big shopping center was having his music too loud. But that's all this time and I spent some time there, and then went to near Suvela where they have those high houses with tons of flats, and I would say it was a bit thinner, so not to lovers of heavier pink, but for those who like lighter pink Espoo is a good place until it gets too thin or/and white. About Tikkurila also was so (and nothing significant bad to mention in the air or otherwise, though maybe not my place but that's personal), while some Leppävaara might be a bit thicker, anyway it's close my current flat that's mere pink, though Leppävaara might be a bit less if living some further away than the shopping center that generally have some bit of more redder quality in their Auras than just around them. I biked back a different way to see more and Turuntie's end part in this trip on the west side seemed to have too much hill to come back the same way; was easy to west. Went through lower Kauniainen I saw e.g. some woman with many bigger size (quality) dogs. The pink quality there is nothing less there than in Espoon Keskus or just near it, though maybe not as high as at some other parts of Espoo (nearer Helsinki) but the general Espoo (counting out the empty north Espoo) pink is much the same everywhere just having it less or more (or not at all) plus place specific other feels. I don't know what I should be thinking about these "upper" Espoo places, other than when going there through the fresh part and the lake that won't be thicker pink clear either, and the action might be far away; also from Espoon Keskus to get to Tapiola or Leppävaara is 10 km, that's not too much with a bike, though it can take up to double time if it's not straight and fast, like I might not like to bike to east, north-east from west Helsinki as the way there so far (there might be) hasn't been that good. In Espoo there was at least from Kera to Kilo a straight railway bike road, but after that there is a forest between Kilo and Leppävaara and I had to up myself to Turuntie. From Leppävaara it's not so straight to go in east, but until one knows better Turuntie is still the best and one finds a railway bike road from the left (looking from the west) of the railway some time later and that goes basically all the way to Pasila and the city center, though if one knows better and goes to west red core, that is not the fastest way. And going to those Espoo places from somewhere else, other roads will be taken.

This could be the only planet on the universe that has life/human life (mathematically next to impossible), and all our Xmind stuffs (loads, talents, habits, Xlikings) could come from genes/our parents, from their genes and Xmind, like we get a lot from the collective mind, loads being damages in genes as well as too energetic from Xmind influence and Xminds itself sucked from parents and from others. In the future we can see if those are the cases, though the sucked thing is looking pretty subtle for giving a sure answer. But even if they are sucked and/or from genes, one still needs to think if that is the way it would be even if there would be a soul, the soul being that too, or even more or less only that. The talent levels of ours are low enough for us not to have been here very many lives and it's possible it can all come from the mentioned things, and already much come(s) from outer persona, and the loads and the inner persona come from the mentioned pretty easily. The whole universe (or this virtual or semi-virtual one) has always been like this and so likely always will be like this as we have not been contacted nor seen anything but us (they possibly had a problem of putting it in the virtual version as we are not supposed to get so help but they could add it in some ways as the way it's now is absurd, though I am sure they know that by now and will include it at some time later, like they have included and possibly changed some things similarly as it seems they had to, while there is a specific logic to how things progress - I also doubt if this program has been running more than a couple hundred years; possibly started when I was born). The likelihood that this figures to be just a computer program for bored alians/future people, this being how they (we/I are those alians even those at possible other real or program planets at our levels of the Xmind time/talent are just like we are and up to most of us have been there too and they have been here as rebirth) watch tv, and the person I am, I am actually up to the only one here who is real, and have this "body" and this "life" to experience this life, though this program sucks and is in an incorrect and impossible world, but it seems then we are not very aware of such stuffs yet, and will be made better in the next version (and updated nonstop). I think more or less people on this program are real though whatever I do will have (a virtual) influence on those others and they might not like it. And we could all be in this same program, though there are other people in other programs too, and so the situations are programmed (this planet and the universe) and it has some Logos. The meaning, there is the Logos, but it has no meaning but Itself and it's not really alive though it's Life/Dharma of this Life/program, like our robotic being, just a program, and we have many other Logos programs too, like an infinite universe has everything possible plus these less possible "universes" too. Not very advanced stuff as could be figured from our own level also. It would not be a good thing to run this kind of development of humans programs as a fully real thing, and that's one more reason why this figures to be less than fully real. Other than the limitations of the situation, the Xmind (the idea of the game is partly to make it something under the selected Logos and outer - and inner - personality) and the system I am in as my mind, and the selected Logos, life is just as real though maybe limited or differently limited under those than it's under some other game or reality, so it's not all that big a deal, just that when the program is as bad as this one, it gets absurd and boring. Maybe some five year old's school work I am in as a program (I could be more or less just a program, a robot or a limited robot - half real; the parts; Logos and the Xmind. This being how unsure things can be, that I can't be sure, just like when there are other possible reasons to something, I can't be sure, just that I can have an opinion of what's more likely to be the case). I could stop the program of course, but I have a feel that I need to see it further, and it must have been my pick of a program in the first place, possibly some training program (I could be in some psychological education or downloading program; getting Enlightened and recovering, getting to know myself, my system or this system, this mind, that I might more or less not even be) combined to entertainment, or just entertainment, being bored or in/on ice on/in some lost far travelling space ship somewhere, on its way to some primitive planet perhaps, to do some study or whatever, and this mind and body is limited and can't even contain my energy nor make me feel comfortable as this body is made for easy going Sensors, all that it can take in the long run without getting too loaded and starting to work incorrectly, covering the reality and Enlightenments, getting physical, mental and emotional, and spiritual problems. Possibilities are many, but to say that my life is realistically real and this planet is realistically real and this near and all universe is realistically real, is asking me to believe too much. Even if this would be real and there would be a rebirth, what would it matter in the picture of this universe and as the memory dies all the time, all included, and so has only a hope to retain talent - we still are this being even if it has no identity like a robot - till some point and then start all over again as some down to a cave man - or we might exist in some time area - somewhere in the universe when this planet dies, or one takes a long brain holiday and loses everything. I don't have much talent to mention, no outer nor inner in the picture of eternal life, that it would matter to me anything significant to stop existing, and in no case would it matter other than as a fear or so because of the Logos if that is not changed in it or in the Xmind/memory as understanding, including the absurdity of living without knowing. So, some things are not clear, but that's about it what's still unclear to me of these things, everything that is in universe more or less being known to me from the smallest to the largest, and that's all there is to life - that is its own meaning (just the death/rebirth and its contents is missing, though there is no "other" side but just a 'death' on this side with an 'instant' rebirth of something or an eternal death of the person). I don't think much anything can be put as weight on the existence of the Xmind that is the soul as far as it makes some difference as experience and talent even if everyone's soul in the universe would be different, though they are all pretty same, like trees etc. too are. Brahma? Pinks in the air or in Brahma, human make it (whatever it is) more energetic, while trees etc. doesn't make it that much, not to humans, but that's not really the issue, live or die, but the Xmind, that is the issue, of what it matters, at this point, but we are very new and it would matter later when it gets more talented as well as our bodies still getting better, and as we keep going in the eternity of time, it matters still more, but there is no evidence of it remaining as memory dies all the time as well as where is the Xmind stored after the death and how does it move somewhere, it needing a soul or an instant transfer to another body after one die but all our energy comes from chemistry of this body and when it's dead, the energy is dead and nothing travels and there being a soul that would travel, I haven't seen one so far as all it needs is the communication of the body with the energy or/and mostly Brahma, and Brahma is just like Air, nothing more, and memory is stored in brain cells and they die, can be killed and changed and does the body send them somewhere at the time of death, that's hard to impossible to see, and it can be proven that it's possible that the whole system works without any soul (Xmind eternal or soul eternal). But still, this situation as the Xmind on this planet, on this universe near and far, it's just too absurd and unlikely to be real for me to take it as sure real, even though it's not realistic to think it anything but real and any philosophy that thinks it isn't, should think it just as a possibility (and even then we would be in it, like in any situation, it being real to us). But I think this situation here is absurd and unbelievable, though it figures to be that we are the first on this near universe and we are not contacted or so as it's impossible from too far (away), and that you are so unenlightened is just my bad luck, not absurd nor unlikely (though what do you think I should think of the probability that I am living in a real life - in case there is much one in this universe outside of programs including physical "realities"), but me too being sort of one of the first here, just another unlikely thing, but that's what I should think is the truth, and then we just have this Xmind, if it's eternal in one way or the other or not, that looking like (maybe something else would take its place at some point after that but I don't really think so at this time) basically the only major base system thing that would matter to me that I don't know, of what would matter to me, though technically it doesn't as I have prepared for both possibilities; I have prepared for a rebirth as me, the Xmind (or the soul without the non-Xmind being eternal), and I have prepared to death being the end, being prepared in a sense that I know it's the show of the Logos and I didn't have anything when I was born, and I don't need anything when I die, it's just the same to me, Logos keeps living without any purpose but itself and no one exists, just memories in the outer personalities and physical bodies without anyone really existing. And this being a program, it wouldn't make much difference to mentioned, life would continue in another program or non-program just the same though in a less absurd program or real life in case there is any real life at my state of existing anymore or ever has been, it being all just dreams in Logos, in a variety of different Logos(es), the reality as the universe being something different than this material universe, but all in all, it's all about the Xmind, not about what the reality might be like, it being just the same, like playing one game or the other is just the same, rules just being different, the player being the 'same,' same if it's the same Xmind, though it can take many outer personality forms and be different completely but under one outer personality it's always the same because of the Xmind. But there is not anything really major that I will come to know in this life as I will not know the Xmind thing but will die without knowing, and I have figured the variety of paths my this life can take based on my situation, possibilities and likings and so the only things left are just those details of this remaining life, and it's not that important as I don't have that much years left to bother too much about it, it being mostly about recovery, that seems to me like the meaning of life as it's limiting most of my life and I am stuck with it up to tens of years to come, and possibly more. The picture of my next possible life is also pretty clear as what I have left here is not long enough to change that radically; I have my likings and will include them all in a fuller way in my next life too. But about the life after that I don't know as it will depend of the results of my picks, likings that I have now and will push to fuller in my next life, and I can't predict the result, though it figures to be predictable and then in the light of Dharma, Logos, in my situation, should simply write my life from the main lines, though there would be variations as nothing one is all major but there are options and variations, and then all that depends of/on what I will pick as my likings in that too that might not be so the picks of the Dharma, Logos, but my picks and I believe life is for living also that might not be filling some Dharma, Logos in full or at all, but they are just one part of life, though I don't know that (other than it's a process for me and fine as so), but that's my pick, a pack of both, and I fill my things and if they change, to other my picks that are more or less as the Dharma, Logos, then they will be so but I don't so think about it but let the water flow and see what remains as time moves. It's just so something to count in a variation of the Xmind rebirth and then possibly be dead instead, though not that it would make any difference at that point, just that it's strange to live as so, like going down some hill and not sure what the end will be other than when one faces it, it will be too late to do anything anymore, though not that there is anything I know nor will know to do about it in this life even now but will just have to go down the hill and die and see what happens, though not that I will know in my next life what happened but will be there just as ignorant as I am now, or actually more ignorant, and the more I am a Sensor there, the less it will bother, but I figure to die and be reborn as an S-INTP and that's all there is to it, if there is a rebirth, as an Xmind in a fuller way, 'filling' and remaining as an achievement. Maybe the probability that my life is real rather than programmed is low, but the probability of the Xmind rebirth (in some form or so) is like 50-50 still to me, there being evidence to both directions and I am not seeing one or the other having more of it, and I don't see I am going to get it any cleared in any way in this life, and just need to wait for science to get there and then take whatever they say or show to be the case and then what we should do about it, if all we are, is biological robots that have no rebirth in any way, though it looks like they have as genes and sucked stuffs, that might even remain and travel as vibrations, and not after death but all the time. But whatever, as it is now, I will take additionally such a view of rebirth, where stuffs more or less remain and I might not exist as a bit unique robot after death - without contents of the Xmind - nor as contents of the Xmind without the robot (getting a new one, a new body). Maybe I will be copied in some ways as a robot or/and Xmind and it will be me though just a copy. This is based just on vibrations, not being a biological issue. But currently we have only the biological (genes) as the fact base without there is no rebirth. I don't believe into a soul separate of body as I don't see it's needed nor there is anything one can do without the body, nor any place one could do it at, and so I base any possibilities outside of the current science to Brahma, vibrations, genes, sucks, connections. And outside of those all we have is this robot (the body) with the Xmind that is changing, and dies as memory all the time and has just a possibility of some lasting Xmind that would make any difference to the unit lasting, and I am not a major supporter of unit soul in any form either, other than as the body and the changing Xmind that though has an eternal hole at the bottom of it and even talent dies, even Enlightenments die, the only reality being the robot (the body), the universe (the Logos) and the temporary personality (Xmind), that has a rebirth or not, even that not being the main issue, but the Xmind. But, my pick is that this world I am in is real (at least a reality) though unlikely - more unlikely in my case - but unlikely things happen, and I also pick that our Xmind has a rebirth and talent remains or gets connected to more developed bodies or whatever, but will have an eternal future, as well as a rebirth, that's the main thing I am having at the top of the list (that's so to be kept even as a possibility as long as we do not know for sure as ignoring the possibility, especially as major as this one, would be a huge mistake). But, though I am having those as the reality I am living, it doesn't mean that it's a sure thing, but I am not making any major mistakes playing it that way rather than in some other way.

I again picked the UK; the latter one was based much on weather, but that is not that important now as some priorities again changed or/and got further stronger and I have a little bit more built the details of my life, though nothing sure at this point other than they beat the weather factor of Italy at this point so much that even with more time, I would still be going in the UK at this point, that's something mostly different than it has been so far. Though my personality again is something else, and when it changes to something else again, that will be a test if this decision holds. Plus the new priority orders or their weights, can change again pretty easily, but at least as things are now, it's also more fitting to staying in Finland. But nothing solid and strong yet to be "sure," just that the UK will be my attitude till it again will be changed by some factor. The priorities and weights are mostly done by the outer personality, but in theory it's (im)possible to pick against one's outer personality, e.g. because it's more difficult a pick, and rationally put on some other outer persona and try to stick to it, though it's not based just on "sticking" but needs (a) heavy support from facts for one to do something that big against one's outer persona, against its/one(')s main likings, though in this case it's just one of the alternate outer personas. The losing priorities (and personas) will go more or less on hiding, and possibly will finally accept a place as a hobby or a secondary liking. They will wait their turn on the line as well as possibly decrease and up to die (in tens of years) if not having got enough attention to remain with the level of energy/priority (interest) they used to have. The main reason for my new priorities/weights is that I have/had hobbies and I figure need to be more serious with them to pass them, and after I have done that, I have nothing on the line ahead of the Italian stuffs (with a related outer persona, doings, likings). I also gave more value to English, though it's still from like half the words written incorrectly (but smooth) (languages might improve with time though I am not counting on that other than I have a better shot for a rebirth at the place I die at, plus it figures more fun - and voluntary - to study Italian than English, and Italian and Italy could be a nice hobby and a holiday place, though my weights are up to that heavily on my UK doings that I don't have time to think about it really but it stays somewhere. For recovery from the weather point Italy might be a better place but guess I am not going to be that deep with it on pension while Italian in, it might take off some of the recovery time even after getting the nationality). The Genoa weather is not all far from the UK/London weather (one takes 8C winter with 1h sunshine vs. some 26C and 9h sunshine with heat problems, during like 3 months, the 9 months being perhaps the same - e.g. cold flats). To put major value to Italy because of that is a bit much to me. UK/London, vs. Finland/Helsinki, has a significantly longer summer (16C+) and maybe twice as long peak summer, plus the winter half is like 10C warmer. Some more light during the winter. And that's just about the weather goods.

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